Another day of being the responsible one

Today began with the bus stopping just as I reached the road, so I arrived at work annoyed and slightly sweaty. I bought tea from the stall downstairs, carries it past the reception and sat beneath the office lights hoping the day would only ask for what I can manage.

I opened my laptop and found a reminder about yesterday's report. One columns needed changing. Whole I corrected it, messages keep appearing each beginnywith "Hi" and ending with another task. I wondered how many requests could fit inside one ordinary working day without anyone noticing the person completing it.

At eleven, my manager praised the report in the meeting presenting it something out team has completed together. I smiled because correcting him would have made evrything awkward. Then my phone lit up: Mum had written," The hospital called. Your father's appointment. Call when you can"

I stepped into stairwell and called her. She said it was probably nothing then asked if I could send money for the tests. I promised I would manage both. When the call ended I stayed behind the fire exit staring at my salary notification afraid to calculate what remained.

At lunch everyone discussed weekend plans whole I nodded politely. A colleague complianed about choosing between two holidays. Then the new employee came to my desk nearly crying over a mistake. I helpyher fix it speaking gently because I knew that feeling.

She thanked me said "You always knew what to do" and I almost laughed at the irony. I had spent the morning pretending I could solve everything, privately fearing a hospital bill and another missed day's pay. Still, I told her she could learn. It was easier to comfort someone then answer honestly.

By six, the office was emptying and the cleaners moved quietly between desks. I shut down my computer and noticed my reflection in the dark screen. For one second, I wanted someone to ask me if I was okay. Nobody did. The lights clicked off row by row and I left.

On the bus home, I held the rail while strangers leaned together at every turn . I called Mum and said I would come together, though I had no idea how to rearrange work or money. The day has not broken me. It had left me no space to fall apart and to breathe or to think. Let's see what life has for tomorrow.