Blank in exam

I wake up in the morning. I am really scared. I have an exam today of Biochemistry. I am completely not prepared.

Not that I hate it biochemistry. It had more to do with the professor. Our professor had gone on a maternity leave and a temporary lecturer was appointed. This new lecturer did not have much of knowledge and was unable to teach us. Her lectures were boring so much so that we used to call it a snooze fest. I would attend the lecture but the mind would wander somewhere else.

Practicals had been better because it did not require me to listen to her. I read the instructions from the book and performed the experiment successfully. I had scored well in my practical exams but now is the theory exam for which I am scared.

I had rarely opened the book of Biochemistry. Every time I would open the book I would hear the sleep inducing voice of the professor. That would immediately prompt me to close the book and study something else. I had not studied at all for the exam. I have absolutely no idea what I am going to write in the exams. I am wondering whether I should appear for the exam because I know I am not going to pass this one.

I still decided to get ready and appear for the exam. I reached the college and sat on my desk. When I received the question paper I felt completely blank. I read all the questions, but I do not understand them. It told me that my preparation was so poor that I was not even able to understand the questions. Answering those questions was a different ballgame all together for me. I knew I am not going to pass this exam. My heart is racing because I am anticipating a major failure. I am angry at myself for not studying even little bit. All the emotions had taken over and I have started crying. The tears have gathered in my eyes making my vision blurry. Now I am not even able to see what is written in the question paper at all. I managed to write my roll number on the answer paper. I am crying but there is nothing else I can do. I am trying to remember something from the lectures that I had attended but my brain appears offline. I cannot handover my paper within 15 minutes of the start of the exam so I am still sitting in the examination hall fidgeting with the answer paper and crying. These are the most difficult 15 minutes of my life. While crying I made a promise to myself that to be prepared for each and every exam going ahead even though I disliked the subject.

Suddenly I woke up from my sleep. I am sitting on my bed. It took me some time to realise that this was a nightmare. It took me few more minutes to realize that I do not have to appear for any exam, I have completed my graduation 15 years ago and what I had seen in the nightmare had never happened in my academic career. I take deep breaths to come myself down. I say to myself, " it was just a nightmare and now it is over. There is no examination where you need to appear. There is no need to worry". I continue to take deep breaths and I can feel that my heart beats are now returning to normal.

How strange it is that even after completing my studies over 15 years ago I still get nightmare of fictitious situations that had never happened to me.