Comfort Person

In the beginning of 2022, when I heard the news that my best friend is no more i felt lonely and i was ready to do anything to get rid of that feeling, so I did. There was a boy from my class trying to get me since October or November of 2021 i guess but i kept refusing him and told him that the only relation between us could be the friendship only but he still didn't stop. So, the next day from the day I heard about my friend, i asked that boy to provide me a phone from a friend of him so we could talk at night because phones weren't allowed in hostel and he did. Let's call this boy X and my friend be A. In the evening, when we were in our bed just a few minutes before dinner he called me and I picked it up. He said hello, then asked about my well being and then he confessed again. I was confused thinking i was wrong but I pushed this thought away because I couldn't bear this pain and loneliness. I stayed silent for few minutes, he checked if I was still on the call and listening to him and i said yes. Then I disconnected the call but he called me again and asked to say I love you too from my mouth, i was silent again but i said that. It really was not the kind of relationship I wished for but didn't care. We made it already clear that there were no chances of being together and getting married in future and I was really good hearing that from him too. Then the dinner bell rang and we ate then came to house on bed again. At midnight, he texted me again and that was the reason I came in relation with him because I would not feel lonely if someone keeps talking to me. It's not that I didn't care about A but i couldn't bear the guilt and pain of being angry on him and when I finally decided to talk, he was gone. I was on a completely wrong track but I didn't think about that very much. I was not in love, I just needed someone to rely on because my female friends were too busy in themselves. And unfortunately, nothing worked... The more I tried to forget A , the more pain I received. But I continued the relationship with X even if it meant nothing to me. Afterall he too was not so serious.