exams !

In just a month or less then a month my examinations and I am not prepared yet 🥲🥺 like studying but not prepared not have that confidence and that really fears avery night and this fear increase when I give mock test and get less marks ,

As being humanities student there is just government sector option because we don't have any skill certificate or expertise so mostly students choose the path of preparing government exams like SSC ,UPSC, PSC , and various other exams

Being a government job preparing aspirant is not easy though I am not comparing any field, students of science side or with any specification also face this toughness but although there is a certainty afterall but person like me who have just simple bachelor of arts degree, people often judge us just by knowing that we have done B.A.

And when we step into preparing for gov. exams , our parents except us to fill and clear every exam, any vacancy comes in any department they just tell us to fill that form without knowing what we want what we expect ourselves to be and if we refuse they think that we don't have that capability, we can not do it , we can not make it

I have failed in two exams before and these results have become like a stamp on me a stamp of inability, a stamp of mistrust, a stamp of neglegance unti i succeed further and this thing really hurts me .

Noone sees your efforts, those sleepless nights, those fearful eyes, your notebooks filled with practice questions, your hands colord with blue ink , yes noone looks at these things they just see is your success or failure.