Feeling old

When did I start feeling old? Was there a reason? When did it start?

I was 27 when I joined my last company. When I entered the office I saw that people turning their heads towards me. I was not feeling unusual because of it. Wherever I would go people would notice me. Same happened here. I did not feel old.

It was my 30th birthday. I proudly told everyone around me that I am turning 30, because I knew I looked much younger than my age. I had no grey hair. I had no wrinkles on my face. If I would have asked anybody to guess my age they would have said that I was 25. I did not feel old at that time.

I was 30 when my nephew was born. I announced in my office that I have become an aunt. I distributed sweets to everyone. My colleagues congratulation me and called me 'aunty'. A friend also said "you are a 30 year old aunty" while joking. That still did not bother me because each and every word they had said was true. I did not feel old but I felt as if I have entered a new chapter of my life. I was delighted with their words because I had a new identity in my personal life.

Then it was my 35th birthday. Every person who wished had been asking me the same question "do you feel old yet?" I told them no. I could hear the disappointment in their voice. I could not understand why everybody wanted me to feel old. While cutting the birthday cake I did not feel old. But I felt that there was a weight of expectations and responsibilities on my shoulder.

A couple of months after my 35th birthday I noticed a couple of wrinkles and fine lines on my face. These were the signs that my skin was not feeling as young as I felt in my heart. The wrinkles near my eyes were clearly visible when I smiled. A few people pointed them out with joy calling them crow feet. Despite them making fun of me I did not feel old myself.

Then I noticed the first hair greying. That first grey hair also was telling me that I am going old. That grey hair did not bother me. Yes it was a sign of aging, but it did not disappoint me. That grey hair did not break me down. I accepted it as a sign of growth and progression.

Then I celebrated my 40th birthday. Entering the fourth decade of my life did indicate to me that this is the time to embrace the fact that I am getting old. I accepted it but still I was not feeling old in my heart. I felt that this was the phase where I was becoming more experienced and mature. This was the time when nobody would take me casually. My words will have more meaning because of my age and experience. I felt positive about being 40.

Last evening I was playing badminton with my now 10 your old nephew. While I was playing my mother told me that I might get joint and muscle pain because I am no longer young. I took that remark with a grain of salt. Surprisingly my body supported me. I had no joint pain or muscle pain today.

With these experience says let me ask you should I feel old?