Getting Back

I fell sick towards the end of August, it was around 27th , and honestly I thought I would recover in a few days and get back to my routine. But this time recovery took much longer than I expected. I kept hearing people say the viral going around was strange - you would feel completely fine and energetic at one moment , and then suddenly feel drained again, even after taking medicines for four or five days. That was exactly what was happening with me.

Eventually I travelled back from my hometown to Delhi , thinking that maybe being back in my usual space would help me restart. Then I got my periods, and that meant another few days of rest. Somehow, all of this added up to almost two or three weeks where I barely studied for even an hour.

And the worst part wasn’t even the lost time.

It was opening the book.

Every day, I would look at my books and feel this weird fear, I knew I was already behind. I knew there was a lot to cover. And instead of making me want to work harder, that thought made me want to avoid studying completely. There was this constant feeling that, what is even the point now? Every one is ahead of me anyway.

So I kept postponing it.

During those days, I also slept a lot in the afternoons . One random day, after I had recovered a little , I didnt sleep in the afternoon. I wasn’t binge watching anything either. And suddenly I had so much time left.

I genuinely sat there thinking , wait , why do I have so many hours? Is there extra hour in a 24- hour day that I didn’t know about?

It made me realise how much of my time had quietly disappeared into sleeping, scrolling, postponing and worrying about studying instead of actually studying.

I still didn’t magically become motivated . But a friend in my life gave me something more useful than motivation- a reality check. Basically , the message was simple: if you don’t do it, nobody is going to do it for you.

And honestly, I needed to hear that.

I am slowly getting back into my routine now. Not perfectly, not suddenly, but at least I am starting. That day, for the first time in weeks , I actually studied .

Maybe that’s al getting back on track really is. Just accepting where you are and doing something about it.