I think I’ve become really good at pretending I…

I think I’ve become really good at pretending I don’t care.

If someone takes hours to reply, I tell myself I’m busy anyway. If someone forgets something I told them, I laugh it off.

If someone disappoints me, I say, “It’s fine,” so naturally, everyone assumes it actually is.

The funny part is, sometimes I don’t even know when I’m pretending anymore.

I’ve convinced myself that being low-maintenance means never asking for too much. That being understanding means accepting everything quietly. That being independent means I shouldn’t need reassurance.

But sometimes I do.

Sometimes I want someone to notice that my “I’m okay” sounds different.

I want someone to ask twice.

I want to be able to say, “That hurt me,” without immediately feeling guilty for making things uncomfortable.

Maybe caring isn’t the embarrassing part.

Maybe pretending not to care is just exhausting.

So lately, I’m trying something new.

If something matters to me, I’m going to let it matter.

Even if that makes me a little vulnerable.

Even if someone thinks I’m too much.

At least I’ll know I’m being honest with myself.

Name the worry that is loudest right now. What is it really about, underneath?