Just want to tell how I feel today

I just feel like I want to tell someone how I feel every day but I can't because I always listen to them but when it's mine turn they just vanish or think it's not important cause they only see me smiling I know that sounds cringe but it's true I always try to make people happy around me cause I don't like when people are sad it hurts me but I was wrong I always thought when I was young that if I help people they will too but I was wrong they don't they just use me when they want me then leave me when they don't today too I was asking my bff that she is ready to go with me I was excited so I message her more then once in different time but she broke my heart into peace it's not like it's first time always happen like that when I need him/her they don't exist but when they are in pain I always there for them but they are just who don't like me they treat me as a toy some time like I was going to my father for my things I asked her if him/her if can come with me cause it's not safe going alone they rejected me saying parents won't allow it but if they wanna go somewhere at night then they go secretly it's shows that they can risk my safety but they won't risk going out you know what hurts most doing everything thing for them never complain about anything thing even they say something Harsh I ignore but thinking them as family but they are like ungrateful person I only message her asking yes or no if him/her would have said they are busy and not in good mood I would have stopped cause I don't like people getting sad because of me instead him/her said I have to much work to do I not like u I'm busy person then I said I also have work him/her said I don't think so then they said don't text me cause I'm in bad mood and will say anything bad to me 😭😭😭 that's not even the heartful part they don't talk to others like they talk to me they always treat me as a discarded option they can use and throw even though I give my everything to make them happy I don't even know where I was wrong I just wanted a peaceful life with my family and friends but I think god doesn't want that whyyyyy I am always treated as a option they can discard anything anywhere 😞😞😢😢