Mental NOT Crazy

Funny how a doctor's diagnosis can change everyone's perspective. Before the diagnosis I was just me. The same friend that will pull up at anythime. Music and word lover. Book reader, gamer and youth advocate. Somehow, all of that fades away at the simple categorizing by someone deemed more knowledgeable than oneself.

Manic Depression. A diagnosis. A life sentence. Something that separates you from the very people who used to know you best. Isolation, loneliness and confusion are just some of the symptoms this illness brings alone for fun. The harshest symptom of them all is the way people who you've known all your life suddenly starts to behave, like you're actually ill. No longer a functioning person.

I'm still me. The same fun, loving, music-vibing, energy thriving, good hearted person who wants everyone around to feel and be just as free. Truth seeking, authentic girl who is suddenly smack dab in a mid-life crisis at the ripe old age of 39. If it weren't so tragic, it would be utterly hilarious. Still is to be honest. Laughing through it all. Gaining more knowledge, strength and grace as I navigate this confounding, maddening mental shift.

Hopefully someone else out there may know the feeling. If so, you're not alone. Day by day, it gets better and easier to navigate. Always room for more understanding, compassion and a heart big enough to encompass it all.