My Brain Has a Personal Grudge Against Me

Yesterday, I decided to sleep early.

At 10:30 p.m., I proudly put my phone away, closed my eyes, and told myself, “Tomorrow, we’re becoming productive.”

At 10:31, my brain said,

“Remember that embarrassing thing you said in 2017?”

Excuse me?

I ignored it.

Then it reminded me of another embarrassing thing.

Then another.

By 11:15, I was mentally reviewing conversations with people I haven't spoken to in years.

At 12:02, I suddenly remembered that I forgot to reply to someone three days ago.

At 12:17, I started planning my entire future.

At 1:03, I was wondering whether penguins have knees.

At 1:26, I finally fell asleep.

My alarm rang at 7.

I opened one eye, looked at the ceiling, and made the most important decision of the day:

“Tomorrow. Definitely tomorrow.”

And honestly, I think tomorrow is getting tired of me too. 😭