To the woman I still look for in every beautiful moment.”
"I often wonder what I would tell my mother if I had one more conversation with her. I would tell her about the person I am becoming, the dreams I am chasing, the days I struggled and the days I was proud of myself. There is something much i wish she could see. Life keeps moving but a part of me will always look for her because some losses change the way you experience ordinary life When you loss your mother, even the smallest moment remind of her - a familiar song, a certain smell, taking afternoon nap with her, hiding behind her saree on scolding by father any many more moments,
People think that with time you 'move on' , but perhaps you don't really move on . You just simply learn to carry the lovea nd the absence together "
I saw my ex today.Not in some dramatic place where the universe could pretend it had planned the meeting. I saw them at a supermarket, standing near the shelves comparing two brands of coffee. I was holding a basket with three completely unnecessary things, and suddenly my carefully ordinary evening became something I hadn't prepared for.
For a second neither of us moved. It was strange seeing a face that once belonged to such a large part of my life reduced to something familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. I recognized the expression, the way they stood even the little habit of touching their hair. But somehow,I no longer knew the person standing there.
They smiled first. I smiled back because apparently even after everything. Some habits survive breakups. We asked the usual question…
Autumn comes late but August brought the emotion with it. Bringing a flood of self-realisation, pro-activeness, mental drain & a fatigue that never fades. August was special, it had moments that i'll never forget, sometimes it was sour but the other moment rain brought the melody & sweetness with it. If there's one month I could count up to would be this definitely.
Sometimes, It isn't that easy You will feel a little bit of my share for the rest of the time It will be dry And dryness not in terms of Rain, Putting downs of life that never teaches us.
The air in August tastes like something that i am trying to remember. The light hits different during this time somehow , its softer and slower - and it pulls at something deep and old inside of me . It's nostalgia without a clear target . Just a passing feeling that everything is gone even though it's still happening.
Music becomes the only way to explain what i am experiencing. It speaks to me in a way nothing else ever can -
It feels like i am watching everything from a distance , a spectator in my own life . September is here now and maybe it's the weight of saying goodbye to August even though it never held anything special to me.
There is some peace in this detachment though . Existing beside my own life for a moment, watching how it moves without me .
Only the weather knows what i …
Today I discovered that our office has a second unofficial department; gossip. It operates without a manager, budget or official meeting invite. Yet somehow everyone knows exactly when it begins . The official name is "coffee break". The unofficial purpose is discussing everyone who isn't currently standing there.
It usually starts innocently. Someone mentions that Vikram from finance left early yesterday. Within thirty seconds, three theories appear. He had a family emergency. He had an interview somewhere else. He was secretly angry with management. Nobody actually knows anything but that has never stopped and office from developing a complete storyline.
Today, the main character was our new project manager. Ananya . She had rejected someone a leave request in the morning, and by lunchti…
There are certain things I enjoy that I would never proudly announce in a room full of people. Not because they I would never proudly announce in a room full of people. Not because they are terrible, illegal, or particularly embarrassing but because they don't match the version of me I usually present. Everyone has a private collection of little indulgences, Mine just happens to be slightly ridiculous.
One of mine Is watching terrible reality television. The worse the arguments the more invested I became. I can spend an entire evening watching people I have never met argue about absolutely nothing while eating snacks and pretending I am above it. I am not above it. I am emotional invested in people whose names I forget tomorrow.
I also have a habit of rereading old conversations. Not const…
Right now am in this beautiful place I call it as “my quick go to spot”😉, it is now I realise that I haven’t come here for a long time and that made me realise I have given myself less quality time than I want to.
It is okay to sometimes say NO when you really want to do something else, if it’s really important your kind ones will understand you but don’t make too many sacrifices that you end up losing them.
So whenever I come here I feel so at peace/ good thoughts flow inside my mind and moreover I get this positivity inside me😁
Self comes first most of the time but always for good cause #notselfish😚
I saw myvex today. Notvin some dramatic place where the universe could pretend it had planned the meeting. I saw them at a supermarket, standing near the shelves comparing two brands of coffee. I was holding a basket with three completely unnecessary things , and suddenly my carefully ordinary evening became something I hadn't prepared for.
For a second, neither of us moved. It was strange seeing a face that once belongeds to such a large part of my life reduced to something familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. I recognized the expression the way they stood even the little habit of touching their hair . But somehow, I no longer knew the person standing there.
They smiled first . I smiled back because apparently even after everything, aomebhabits survive breakups. We asked the usual qu…
During one of my college projects, I was given the responsibility of preparing a presentation with a small group. I was confident about my part and assumed that everything would go smoothly.However, on the day of the presentation, I realised that I had made an important mistake in the information I had prepared. Because of my mistake, one section ofthe presentation had to be changed at the last moment.I felt embarrassed. I was worried that my group members would blame me, and for a while, I wanted to avoid talking about it.
Instead, one of my teammates calmly said, “Mistakes happen. Let’s see how we can fix it.”We worked together, corrected the information and completed the presentation. It was not perfect, but wemanaged to finish it successfully.What stayed with me was not the mistake its…
I used to think success was mostly about effort. Study harder. Work longer.prepare better,and eventually the result would follow. It is comforting because it makes life feel predictable. If I fail. I can blame myself for not trying enough, and if someone succeeds. I can assume they simply worked harder. But the older I get, the more I notice how much luck quietly participates in people's lives. Two people can work equally hard and still end up in completely different places because one happened toeet the right person find the right opportunity or simply because in the right place at the right time. Someone gets an internship because a relative knows someone in the company. Another discovers an opportunity because a friend happened to share it at exactly the right moment.
Even education mak…
I still remember the day my exam result was supposed to come out. I had worked hard for it, but somewhere in my heart, I already had a fear that I might not get the marks I expected.
When the result finally appeared on my phone, my hands were shaking. I opened it and saw my marks. They were much lower than I had hoped for.
For a few seconds, I just stared at the screen.I felt embarrassed and disappointed. I started comparing myself with my friends. Some of them had scored much better than me, and I couldn't stop thinking, “Maybe I am not good enough.”That evening, I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I even avoided my family because I was afraid they would be disappointed in me.
But my father noticed that something was wrong. He sat beside me and asked, “What happened?”I showed him my res…
This is a story about the exact second I realized…
This is a story about the exact second I realized my father was no longer invincible.The house smelled like burnt toast and cheap black coffee.It was a Sunday morning in late October.Sunlight cut across the linoleum floor in dusty stripes.My father sat at the wooden table.
He tried to lift his heavy ceramic mug.His fingers did not listen to him right away.Coffee spilled over the white rim and pooled on the wood.For forty years, those hands built stone walls and fixed car engines.Now, they trembled under the weight of an empty cup.He did not look at me.He just wiped the dark liquid with a paper towel.His shoulders were curved inward, smaller than I remembered.A lump formed in my throat.Time had stolen his strength while I was busy growing up.
Nobody spoke for a long time.I walked over and t…
There was a message I wrote a hundred times but never had the courage to send.
It wasn’t anything complicated. Just a few honest words that I had been carrying for a long time.
I wanted to say that I missed how things used to be. I wanted to ask if they ever thought about me too.I wanted to know whether I still mattered or if I had become just another forgotten name in their life.
But every time I opened the chat, I stopped.
What if they didn’t care anymore?
What if my message became an inconvenience?
What if the silence that already hurt became even worse after I heard their answer?
So I kept deleting the words.
Days turned into weeks, and eventually I stopped checking the chat.
Not because I stopped caring, but because I realized that sometimes you can care about someone and still choo…
It was a cold winter morning, and I was standing at a bus stop waiting for my bus to college. I was already late, so I was feeling irritated. I kept checking myphone again and again, hoping the bus would arrive soon
. There was an old man sitting on the bench beside me. His clothes weresimple, and he had a small cloth bag in his hands. He looked tired, but he had a peaceful smile on his face.
After some time, he asked me, “Beta, is this bus going towards the hospital?”I was in a hurry and honestly didn't want to talk. I simply said, “I don't know,” and went back to looking at my phone.
A few minutes later, I noticed that he was still standing there, looking at every bus carefully. Suddenly, I felt a little guilty. I asked him why he needed to go to the hospital.
He quietly replied, “My wif…
The hardest part is just getting there.
5:30am , alarm rings, and honestly getting out of bed feels like the biggest workout sometime😭
But once you make it and reach the spot that makes you feel welcomed/just happy( for me personally it’s Lalbagh) everything changes!
The cool breeze, the shade from those huge old trees. The lake just sitting at the centre with cute ducks paddling around like they have absolutely nowhere to be😂. Squirrels running around, birds already awake and sweet chirping sounds thats makes you forget about everything and makes you breath into that moment. All of a sudden your very proud and glad that you made it!
In this busy world this is something everybody deserves, you don’t have to run miles just step outside your bed and have a morning talk with the nature …
I never thought that one ordinary evening could change the way I looked at my mother.
I was 19 when I started feeling that my mother did not understand me. Whenever I wanted to go out with my friends, she would ask too many questions. When I used my phone late atnight, she would tell me to put it away. Sometimes, I felt that she was stopping me from enjoying my life.One evening, I had an argument with her. I was angry and said, “You neverunderstand me. You only know how to say no.”She became quiet. She didn't argue back. She simply went into the kitchen.
I remember feeling proud of myself for a few minutes. I thought I had finally told her what I really felt.
That night, I went to the kitchen to get some water. I saw her sitting alone, checking some old medicine bills and counting money fr…
yesterday, i was supposed to go to my therapist for a final closing session.
A while aback, around 2-3 years ago, I started having severe panic attacks, anxiety attacks and insomnia to the point that i went a week together without a single hour of sleep. My blood pressure was always high, my mind always working, feeling like it was eating itself out.
My life felt like a big failure, my entire existence a burden. My parents saw me suffer, watched as my breathings hiked up and down, my body started to shake, my teeth cluttering and my mind shattered. I cried every night hysterically begging for my mom to put me yo sleep somehow with tears falling down my cheeks and the night turning into duak and dusk turning into full fledged beaming sunlight.
my mom and dad, saw this for a while and even…
"I stare at a blank white page and all I feel is the weight of what I’m 'supposed' to be doing. There’s this constant pressure to have the perfect career map, to build the ideal skill set, and to seamlessly transition into the next big life milestone.But honestly? Tonight I am just exhausted. I don't want to map out my entire future right now.
I just want to sit in the quiet empty space for a moment without feeling guilty that I haven't written the next chapter yet."
Is anyone else exhausted by the constant pressure to have everything "figured out"?
On paper, things are fine. But beneath the routine, there’s this quiet lingering feeling that I’m just performing my own life instead of living it. I’m trying to figure out if this is just a phase or a signal that something needs to change.How do you tell the difference between being burnt out and simply needing a new direction?
Today I took the morning bus instead of booking a cab, mostly because I was trying to save money. I expected the usual crowd, noise, and traffic. But somewhere between the bus stop and my destination, the journey turned into one of those dYs that stays in your mind.
The bus arrived already half full. People squeezed in anyway, because apparently there is always room for one more person. I found a place near the window and watched the street move past. School children adjusted theirbbags, an old man counted coins, and a woman quietly balanced a steel container.
At the next stop, a woman got in carrying a basket of jasmine flowes. She sat down , took out a thin thread, and began stringing the flowers together with astonishing speed. Her fingers moved automatically while she chatted with anot…
So today was supposed to be the day our college hackathon project finally worked properly. We had spent nearly two weeks building an AI - based system for detecting potholes and helping authorties prioritize road repairs. We arrived carrying laptops, chargers, snacks and confidence that disappeared surprisingly quickly.
The first problem appeared before we even finished setting up. Our application refused to connect to the backend. I restarted everything twice checked the configuration and stared at the screen as though the error might become embarrassed and disappear. My teammates were equally confused. We had eight hours left.
The morning became a competitive against time.One teammate worked on the frontend while another checked the mechine learning model. I stayed with the backend, read…
I sometimes wonder why ordinary people are expected to treat taxes as an unavoidable responsibility while the richest people seem to have entire teams dedicated to finding ways around them.For someone earning a modest salary every deduction is visible. There is little room to rearrange finances ,hide income , or exploit complicated loopholes.
I am not against wealthy people being wealthy. If someone built a successful company, created something valuable, or earned their fortune legally, good for them . What bothers me is the idea that having more money should somehow mean having more opportunities to avoid contributing proportionately to the society that helped create that wealth.
A salaried employee cannot simply negotiate with the tax system. Their income is recorded, deductions happen a…
Since I was a kid I used to like science as i passed my 10th standard, I chose science as my career but being in India and choosing any career-specific science field seems scary.. As I passed my 12th standard, I appeared for NEET it was 2025 i didn’t get a seat for MBBS.. As I thought I was the one not prepared properly for the exam, I took a gap yr and prepared for the 2026 NEET it went well i was happy but soon the paper got leaked on a mass level and it got cancelled.. I got a shock; I was not prepared for this .. but as we have to move forward in life i also did that tho i was not mentally prepared for re neet i still gave it .. and it did not got well .. I was hopeless and shattered it made me question myself but after thinking for a month i chose mbbs abroad.. i think the life in abr…
Maybe you all will think I am being selfish or ungrateful, but as an elder daughter, I can tell you I have always put my family before myself because that’s what matters most to me. I love them so much that if they tell me to die, I will.. After listening to my dad for my 18 years of life now I have chosen myself i chose my freedom..
-DO I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY???
-AM I CAPABLE ENOUGH???
-WHY DOES ALWAYS COMES TO ME??
AM I THAT BAD??
-WISH THEY COULD GET A BETTER DAUGHTER..
- AM I THAT BAD??
-WILL I BE ABLE TO MAKE MY PARENTS PROUD??
-AM I SO HARD TO LOVE??
-WILL I ACHIEVE THIER HAPPINESS??
There are some days in India that begin differently from ordinary days. Rakhi is one of them.
You wake up earlier than you usually would, take a bath, get ready, and somehow the entire house already feels like it is preparing for something. I have always followed the little rule of not eating anything before tying Rakhi to my brothers. There is also a muhurt attached to it, which means there is a certain time by which the Rakhi is supposed to be tied. So, even before the actual celebration begins, there is this small sense of urgency in the house.
And then, slowly, the house starts filling up.
Relatives arrive. The bua comes, more people walk in. Someone is asking where something has been kept, someone is calling someone else from another room, someone is laughing, and someone is already c…
Some days are just… normal.
No big moment, no sudden realization, nothing that feels worth talking about.Just small things, one after the other, that don’t seem like much while they’re happening. Today felt like that.
I spent a lot of time trying to understand things, going back and forth, rereading, figuring stuff out slowly. It wasn’t hard exactly, just not very clear at first. And that in-between feeling—where you’re not completely lost but not fully sure either—can be a little frustrating. At some point, I caught myself thinking that I should be doing better. Like I should already understand everything, or be faster, or more confident.But the truth is, that’s not how it works. At least not for me.
I think we don’t really talk about these kinds of days. The ones where nothing looks imp…
I sometimes wonder how much a person can change without even noticing it.A few years ago, I had completely different dreams, different fears, different friendships,
and a completely different idea of who I wanted to become. I thought growing up meant having everything figured out. Now I realise it mostly means learning to be comfortable with not
having all the answers.I am still figuring myself out.There are days when I feel confident about my
future, and there are days when I question almost everything. Some days I feel like I can achieve anything, while on others, even the smallest task feels difficult. But perhaps that is normal.We are constantly told to become better versions of ourselves, but nobody really talks about how confusing that process can be.
Sometimes becoming stronger m…
The Strange Pressure of Having Your Life Figured Out
There is a strange age where everyone suddenly starts asking you what you want to do with your life.
What are you going to become?What career are you choosing?Where do you see yourself in five years?
What are your plans?And somehow, you are expected to have a perfect answer.
The funny part is that most of us are still trying to figure out what we want to eat for dinner.
Growing up, I thought adulthood would come with some sort of instruction manual. I imagined that one day I would simply wake up and know exactly who I was, what I wanted, and where I was going. But the older I get, the more I realize that almost nobody actuallyknows what they are doing. Some people are just better at pretending they do.There is so much pressure to be successful early. Social media makes it worse. You see pe…
When I am left with few breathes,
The last breathe I am waiting for,
the death no one wants,
Come to me once, hold my hand tightly,
We'll recall our journey,
The journey that's filled with love,
The journey that's filled with pain,
The journey that's filled with sacrifice,
For one last time I look at those eyes
Which made me worth living,
Before my heart halts it's beats,
Which never beats your name again,
I'll let you know you were always my first priority,
I'll let you know i made best memory with you,
I'll let you know my love for you is eternal,
with no regrets left behind,
I take the last Glance of you,
And lay my self in peace .
