The answer is no

"You are staying home. You do not have to go every time your friends call you. You just run as soon as they call you. You need to learn that not all times you could go wherever you want," I was getting scolded because my neighbor had come to ask me to play. I was 4 years old. Like a good girl, I asked for permission instead of announcing. I was crying because I wanted to play. I had attended the school. I had studied. I had kept away my toys. I had done everything that I was asked to do. But still I was not allowed to play.

Every time there would be a new excuse to not allow me to play. My friends were my neighbors who were from good families. None of them were brats, but still my parents would not let me play with them. "Find better friends," they said but never told me where to find them.

But somehow these restrictions were only for me. My elder sister would go to play whenever her friends would call. My parents would never stop her or tell her to find better friends. Surprisingly her friends were my friends's elder siblings, but they were good enough.

My dad too would go to meet his friends, the moment he was called. My mom did not have many friends, but she would go to my aunt's place whenever they would call her. I used to feel that only I was not allowed to go and everybody else did whatever they wanted.

Once I asked my mother why these restrictions were only applicable to me. I was scolded again, "you see for yourself. Don't count who goes out. You think you understand better than us? You think you are in any position to question us? Once we say no, you should not ask again. What we do is for your benefit". That made me cry again. I was not allowed to play with my friends and I did not even know why. Also I could not understand how not playing was beneficial to me.

Later I had stopped asking my parents. I would tell my friends that I would not join them. Once my mom asked me, "nowadays your friend Asha does not come to ask you to play with her. What happened? Did you fight?" I told my mom that I told them to not ask because I am never allowed to play. My mother accused me of lying, "that never happens. We always let you play. You went to play yesterday itself". The truth was I hadn't played with them for the whole month. This is how it was in my childhood. Not allowed to play and being called a lier when I spoke the truth. That made me sad.

Recently, my parents remembered my friends and asked me if I remember them. I told them that I remember them and I also remember how I would get scolded for seeking permission to play with them. This is when they told me that what I said made them sad.

So it was never about me or my feelings. The truth hurts when spoke out loud but what about the childhood taken away from me without any reason?