The Audacity of Being an Adult

Nobody warned me that adulthood would basically be me googling things my parents somehow knew automatically.

The other day, I stood in the kitchen holding a packet of milk, wondering whether it had expired. I checked the date, smelled it, stared at it suspiciously and finally asked my mother.

She looked at it for approximately 0.4 seconds and said, “It's fine.”

HOW?

Did she attend a secret workshop? Was there a subject called Milk Expiration Detection in school? Why do mothers possess this supernatural ability to identify spoiled food without conducting a single scientific experiment?

Meanwhile, I can spend five years studying medicine and still call my mother to ask whether the leftover rice in the refrigerator is safe to eat.

And that's just the beginning.

Adulthood is paying money to buy vegetables, bringing them home, putting them in the refrigerator, and then watching them slowly decompose because you ordered food online instead.

It's buying an expensive planner to organise your life and then forgetting where you kept it.

It's opening your bank account after a shopping spree and experiencing a brief but profound spiritual awakening.

It's saying, “I need to save money,” and immediately adding something unnecessary to your cart because it's on sale.

Congratulations, you've saved ₹300 by spending ₹1,200 you weren't planning to spend.

Financial intelligence at its finest.

And why is everyone suddenly obsessed with productivity?

Wake up at 5 a.m. Exercise. Meditate. Journal. Read ten pages. Drink three litres of water. Eat healthy. Learn a new skill. Build a business. Develop a morning routine.

Brother, I haven't even developed a consistent bedtime.

Some mornings, successfully brushing my teeth before checking my phone feels like a personal achievement worthy of a LinkedIn announcement.

“Thrilled to share that today, I prioritised my oral hygiene before engaging with social media. Grateful for this journey of personal growth.”

Please endorse me for discipline.

But the funniest part about being an adult is that nobody actually knows what they're doing.

We all just pretend.

Someone says, “We'll have to catch up sometime,” and both people know that sometime could mean anywhere between next Tuesday and the next geological era.

Someone asks, “What are your plans for the future?” and you confidently say, “I'm exploring a few opportunities,” when, in reality,

you've been lying in bed watching videos of people renovating abandoned houses.

And don't even get me started on phone calls.

Why would anyone call me without warning? What emergency requires me to speak in real time when a perfectly good messaging application exists?

Maybe one day I'll become the person who wakes up early, cooks healthy meals, saves money, and doesn't have to Google whether eggs need to be refrigerated.

But until then, I'll be here, doing my best.

Which, today, means remembering to take my clothes out of the washing machine before they develop their own ecosystem.

One small victory at a time. 😭

There are no rules here. What is the first thing that wants out of your head right now?