Trust me

I have had several experiences where strangers had trusted me with their darkest secret. They meet me for the very first time and within a few minutes they tell me something personal. Personal enough that it could only be revealed to the closest friends in the tight circle of trust. I always used to wonder that why would this happen with me. I could not understand why would people decide to trust a stranger with their deepest and darkest secret. I still have not found out the answer to this question.

Let me share an example.

In 2021 at my home we had been performing extensive decluttering. We found out a lot of gifted items which we had never used. These have been sitting in the storage, taking up unnecessary space, and had not even been touched at all. My dad and I decided to get rid of them. A few items were so good that we decided to sell them on a second hand marketplace. One of them was a statue of Buddha. After putting it on the marketplace we immediately started receiving the requests from potential buyers. Finally we made deal with one buyer.

This buyer was a girl in her late 20s. She used to stay in the neighbourhood. She had agreed to come down to our area to pick up the statue. We had a fixed the date and the time for the exchange. As decided she came on time at the gate of my society complex. I went there with the statue in my hands.

I showed her the statue. She inspected it and paid me the value for it. She voluntarily introduced herself to me and somehow decided to tell me her story, "I have left my job as a graphic designer. It was draining me. I am planning to take a break or start freelancing. I have not yet decided".

We were still at the society complex gate and standing. I was unable to see a purpose why this girl had been giving me the details about her life. I decided to stay quiet and allow her to speak her mind, "you are my age, so you understand how family pressures us to get married. Now that I am not working my parents are asking me to meet potential candidates and get married. I am not yet ready for marriage. I have some ambitions and I want to work on those. Right now that I have some time in my hands I decided to redecorate the garden in my balcony. I saw this statue on marketplace and immediately felt gravitating towards it. It will be a great fit in my garden," she had been jumping from one topic to the other. I still kept quiet and she continued speaking.

After some time she realised that she had been providing a lot of information about her life to a stranger, "I don't know why I said everything with you. Maybe I felt that you would understand what I was going through. I saw you and I felt that I knew you for a very long time. I somehow felt that you were a long lost friend. Generally I never feel comfortable speaking with strangers but you did not feel like a stranger to me. Or maybe I needed to vent out and you were the perfect person. Thank you so much for being patient and listening to my rant," she left and I came back home.

Later I thought a lot about this interaction. Even today I still do not understand why strangers feel comfortable in telling me the minute details of their lives even though I am a complete stranger to them. But when it happens with me, I let them vent out. I do not interrupt them thinking that probably they find me safe enough to speak their mind. Maybe because it is less expensive than speaking with a therapist.