Widow

"Be careful when you speak with her. Do not mention anything about the accident. Speak as if it is business as usual. Talk only about work and nothing else," my supervisor warned me about speaking with Rachana.

Rachana was my colleague. We have not been close but we were cordial. Recently Rachana met with an accident wherein she lost her husband. It was indeed sad and we had been instructed not to discuss anything with Rachana.

After the accident it was Rachana's first day in office. Rachana came at 10 o'clock. She looked frail. She looked as if she had lost a lot of weight in the span of a week. She had bags under her eyes indicating that she had been crying a lot and probably not sleeping wrll. Generally she would wear makeup but today she had not worn a speck of makeup. She had not been wearing her prominent sindoor (vermilion) and mangalsutra, for the obvious reason that she had been a widow. Rachna was a very pretty woman but today she was looking as if she had been unwell.

After checking the emails Rachana sent an instant message to me to ask whether she could come and sit with me to understand the next project. I told her that she could come anytime. It was decided by the management to give her the simplest project so that she could cope up with her loss. I asked Rachana to join me in the conference room.

When Rachana had come we began with our meeting. I explained the scope of her work and the timelines to her. I ask her if she had any questions which she wanted me to clarify further. Rachana mentioned that she did not have any questions. Before leaving Rachana said to me, "you are the first person who did not ask me about the accident. Nowadays everybody is looking at me with sympathy thinking that I am a helpless widow. But you did not look at me that way and maintained the professionalism. Thank you for all this". Saying this Rachana smiled but I could see that her smile was not reaching her sad eyes.

I was choked to speak but I said, "please feel free to ask if you need any help. On professional front or personal. Even if you feel like speaking or going out for a coffee let me know. I am not just a project manager but a woman who can understand your feelings". Rachana appreciated me and carried on with her work.

That day had been hard for Rachana. I saw that several times she had taken breaks mainly to control her emotions. I decided not to interfere and let her manage her feelings. I felt it would have been better for her to find a way to overcome her sadness. In the evening we went for a coffee break where I decided to speak about shopping and the upcoming corporate event. Surprisingly Rachana spoke with enthusiasm about both topics. Looking at her condition from the morning I felt that Rachana had taken a step ahead in the evening to overcome her sadness.

In the evening when I left for the day I felt proud of Rachana for how she had conducted herself despite the tragedy that had hit her. I kept thinking about her hardships when I received a text from Rachana, "thank you for being patient with me. You do not know how much you helped me to get through the day today". This text made me smile a bit. I decided that I would stand by her side to help her go through this difficult phase of life.

Maybe this is what women supporting women looks like.