Aunts & uncles

Sometimes in adulthood we see some people and relationships in a completely different light. When we see the hidden truth, we start questioning our own belief. We wonder whether what we thought or felt was a figment of our imagination. Has this ever happened with you?

To me, the period of 2020 COVID-19 pandemic lockdown was an eye opening chapter. I saw the real colours of the people who were my relatives. I saw what they were pretending to be and what they were in the reality. I saw the masks slipping. What I saw and experienced made me challenge my thoughts and beliefs about relationships. The most profound relationship that changed my perspective was the relationship with aunts and uncles.

As a child, I saw all my aunts and uncles as the friendly and affectionate family members. That was mainly because my aunts and uncles pretended to be really good hearted people. Whenever they would meet me they would always ask me about my life, studies, and career. They would acknowledge what I used to say. They would praise me and tell me how much they were proud of me. All these behaviours led me to believe that my aunts and uncles are really nice people and would always be there with me in good or bad times. This illusion completely shattered during the lockdown period.

During this period I was able to witness some of the conversations which would otherwise take place behind my back. I saw my aunt and uncles telling my parents that how I was a burden on them because I was unmarried (the burden that was earning really well). I saw my aunts and uncles gaslighting my parents towards various decisions. I saw them that when they would speak with my parents they would act like victims and they would portray everybody else in a bad light. They would not even spare their own children or siblings. I saw how selfish their behaviour was.

There had been certain times when I had to intervene and tell my parents to stay away from my aunts' and uncles' matters. This is when I saw the mask slipping. Once kind and friendly aunts and uncles turned into the argumentative politicians that we see in the assembly. I was literally little away from being hurled a shoe at me. When I was thinking about the wellbeing of my family I was called selfish and told to "stay out of grown ups matters" (as if I was not a grown up at that point).

This was the time when I realized that all the praises that were showed on me were not real. They were only to pursuade my parents into getting them what they wanted. To them I was a medium to reach my parents for their own benefit. The love was only for pretending and it never existed in reality. Looking at their behaviour I definitely felt sorry for my beloved cousins.

Seeing the real colours of my aunts and uncles was an eye opening chapter for me. This is when realised that the blood relations are never selfless, there is always a selfish motive behind them.

Note: This is not a generalised experience. If your relatives are kind hearted, you are winning at life.