Buddha's statue

Buddha is known to be an icon of calmness. Just by looking at Buddha's Idol a lot of people claim that they feel serenity. Buddha's Idol is often used in the room for meditation. One of my irrational fear comes from a Buddha's Idol. I was not scared of all idols of Buddha but one in particular. The circumstances and the events could have contributed to that.

When I was 4 years old my family was required to attend a wedding ceremony of a relative. This ceremony was in the same city but in a different town. My sister was not well so my my mother was going to stay back along with her. Me, my grandmother, and my dad were going for that wedding ceremony. As my grandmother was elderly by that time we had decided to go via road instead of train. We were going to that wedding ceremony by a taxi. It was a late evening ceremony so when we left it was already dark. I was sitting in one of the window seats of the taxi. I was looking outside and enjoying the views. I was not particularly scared of the dark and I was enjoying scene vehicles on the road. Then the incident occurred that instilled fear in my soul.

Our taxi was waiting at a particular traffic signal. At this traffic signal there was a 5 star hotel. This hotel probably was four or five story. At one place they had created a huge statue of Buddha which was probably 30 feet tall. This tall statue was seated at the display of the hotel. While waiting at the traffic signal I saw this statue. First the size of it made me scared. Then the shadows that were falling on that statue made me frightened. Maybe the movement of vehicles and the way the shadows were moving across the Buddha's face I got even further scared. I closed my eyes tightly and I did not open my eyes till the time the taxi started moving.

We had reached the wedding ceremony. I was still scared of the visual that I had seen on the road. My heart was beating really fast. I was so scared that I started crying. When when we reach the wedding venue I was already in tears. My dad and grandmother assumed that I was crying because I was missing my mother and my sister. They did not even ask me why I was crying. They started consoling me that within 1 hour we will return home. There is no need to worry. We will meet the newly wed couple and we will leave immediately. They were consoling me so that I would stop crying. I tried my level best and I controlled my emotions and stop crying.

I returned home and by that time I had forgotten about the entire incident. Next day when my parents asked me why I was crying. I told them that I was scared of a statue that I saw on the road. They assumed that I must have seen a scary statue on the way. They said that we never visit that area anyway so I would never need to see it again.

Few years later we were to attend another ceremony at the same venue. This time the ceremony was in the day time. When we were reaching near that five star hotel I had a knot in my stomach. We were going to be facing the same scary statue that's what I thought. My heart had already started beating faster. My body was hot and red because of the fear. I had a lump in my throat and tears had already started gathering at my eyes. Again there was the same traffic signal and our taxi stopped there. I did not want to face it but still the statue was right and front of me. This time I was surprised to see that statue. In the day time it was not at all scary. Yes it was gigantic but not scary. I wanted to look at it. It really appeared serene. That is when I thought why was I scared of it at the very first time. Probably the shadows on the face of the statue in the dark made me scared.

This is how I overcome one of my irrational fears of the Buddha statue. How I did overcome it - only by seeing it in the light.