Cousins

Do you know why we like our cousins so much? Because cousins are the family members who know how strange and crazy your family is. Funny isn't it? But wouldn't you agree it is true.

By God's grace, I was blessed with many cousins on the maternal and paternal side of the family. My childhood was fun and memorable because of my cousins. In childhood days, I would always look forwards to festivals and family events. I was not interested in food or fashion, but I was keen to meet my cousins. Spending a couple of hours with cousins would bring the joy that would make the school tolerable.

Same continued in teen years. We would meet. We would go out on trips. We would go to restaurants. It was like a friend circle of close friends - friends related by blood. Each eating out and trip was memorable.

As we hit our 20s the dynamic changed. We were no longer carefree students. We did not have winter and summer vacations. We all had started working. The discussions of college activities transformed into career discussions. The talks of eating out would be only for cerebrating personal or professional milestones. "Let's go to Lonaval this weekend" transformed into "I have to attend a conference this weekend". Slowly it was becoming difficult to go out for weekends. "Let's meet and plan" became "let's plan to meet". Work was busy and life became busier. Our ritual of weekend visits started to become sparse which finally came to a halt.

A couple of my cousins went abroad for better career opportunities. With numbers reducing, the plans of meeting or trips would get postponed and eventually cancelled. Because "just the three of us are available. It will not be fun". It felt right and wrong at the same time. One feeling that stayed was that we cousins were drifting apart - not because the love diminished, but because the time and distance were the enemies.

Then came the brutal 30s. While I remained single, all my cousins had been married in their 30s. They all had started a new phase of their lives. They had been creating a separate family identity from their parents. They had been focusing on starting their new family and nurturing it. In this process, the meeting with cousins was going down on the list of priorities. It went right at the bottom and without realising it even got taken out of the list. In our 30s we cousins would meet once in a year. We made a pact to at least meet every Diwali. At a few times it became possible, other times it somehow did not work out.

Now we see each other once in a blue moon. When we meet, we try to remember how much time had passed since our last meeting. Often we do not recollect which indicates that the last meeting had been 2-3 years ago. Every time we meet, we see wrinkles on each other's faces. Looking at each other we silently tell ourselves "we are getting old".

Relationship in cousins in 30s is bittersweet. It makes us happy after meeting them and it makes us sad that the good times are no longer here for our relationship.