Friends

Friends.. The human who are not related by blood, the ones we choose ourselves; the ones who have the potential to become our family or nemesis. The relationship that can go right or wrong. But the real acid test of friendship is in 30s.

More of less in 30s everyone's life is at similar juncture. In 30s we have found our expertise in our career for which we had worked in our previous decade; we have found the 'one' with whom we have embarked on the life's new journey; we are planning to exand our work, family, business, or overall identity; we are focusing on giving the best life after retirement for our parents; we may already have brought new members into this world. The decade of 30s is chaotic where a lot of milestones are achieved; new responsibilities and expectations come along; we are juggling between the family and career. With new ventures, the one aspect that gets ignores is friends. We ups and downs of life, a lot of frienships suffer and drift apart. The ones that stay sustain everything and remain for the lifetime.

Also in 30s we get to see the real faces of our friends. Some 'fake' friends start to disappear. When we are busy and we cannot fuel some relations with our presence, they start to crack. Fake friends do not understand the the priorities of others' lives and hence they make a big scene before the exit. They call names and curses for not getting the privileged entitled treatment.

Then there are some otherbfake friends who get jealous or insecure because of your achievements, success, and rise. They try to reduce the importance your achievements. Insert themselves in every topic, discussion, achievement, and success. They cannot get enough of themselves in your victories. But finally drift away on a bad terms.

Then there is another type of frienship, the one that needs to be treasured. The one that stays in the storm and helps to rebuild. The one that does not expect much or sometimes nothing at all. The one that is low maintenance. Such friendships flourish in our 30s, because they are on mutual terms. In 30s we sometimes become best friends with someone who had been around for a while but was a casual observer.

I had lost a lot of fake friends in 30s because according to them I could not prioritize them over my family (good riddance). In my case, in my 30s I became close with a colleague whom I knew for over 10 years but we were low contact. Navigating in 30s we realised we were much similar than we thought. We did not require meet or call often, but we still remained in touch. We share all life events with each other.

I saw friendship in a different light in 30s. Friendship was not about calling, texting, or meeting. Friendship was more about knowing that there is at least one person who would stay by my side in my tough times. Friendship was about becoming that one safe person for someone in their tough times.

I don't know how relationships are going to change in 40s. Whatever turn they take, I will ensure to keep you posted.