Growing Up Without Realising It

I don’t think anyone really notices the exact moment they grow up. There isn’t a morning where you suddenly wake up and feel like an adult. It happens slowly, through small things that you don’t even pay attention to at first. One day you’re complaining about homework and asking your parents for pocket money, and before you know it, you’re making your own decisions and worrying about things you  never even thought about before. Sometimes I miss being younger, when my biggest problem was deciding what to watch on TV or asking my mom if I could stay up a little longer. Back then, everything felt simple. I didn’t think about the future so much because I assumed there would always be plenty of time. Now I catch myself thinking about careers, relationships, money, responsibilities and  whether I’m actually doing enough with my life. It’s weird because I don’t feel completely grown up inside. There are still moments when I want someone else to make the decisions for me or tell me that everything is going to be okay. But at the same time, I know I’m not the same person I was a few years ago. I’ve become more careful about who I trust, I’ve learned that friendships can change, and I’ve realized that not every person who enters your life is supposed to stay forever. I’ve also started understanding my parents differently. Things that used to annoy me when I was younger now make much more sense. When my mom asks where I’m going or tells me to eat properly, I sometimes still get irritated, but somewhere in my mind I know it comes from love. Growing up has also taught me  that everyone is figuring things out as they go. Sometimes social media makes it look like everyone else has their life perfectly planned while you’re standing still, but that’s not really true. People just don’t post the confusing parts. I still have no idea what my life will look like five years from now, and honestly, that used to scare me. Now I’m trying to accept that I don’t need to know everything yet. Maybe growing up isn’t about having all the answers. Maybe it’s about becoming comfortable with not having them. I think I’m still somewhere in between the person I used to be and the person I’m going to become. I still make silly mistakes, overthink things, change my mind and sometimes have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. But I’m learning, and I guess that’s what matters. Looking back, I wish I had enjoyed my childhood a little  more instead of always waiting to grow up.