Hair

Ever since my childhood I had thin hair. My hair is silky, shiny, and smooth to touch. What my hair have in quality is completely lost in the quantity. I do not have voluminous hair - just like my mother. I have been insecure about my hair ever since my childhood.

I was in Grade 1. I have short bob haircut while most of my classmates have long hair tied neatly in braids. This was the first instance when I felt insecure about my hair. When I was in Grade 2, a classmate asked me "why you always have short hair?" She ansked me innocently with no malicious intent. But her curious question made me sad instantly.

Another problem that I would face was the hair growth. My hair would grow at snail's speed. My hair would take forever to grow from chin length to shoulder length. Hair oils and massage would not help. Nothing would help. This was another way I would feel insecure.

At any family function whenever some distant relative would speak, sometimes they would touch my hair. They would compliment my silky, soft, smooth hair. Then would say, "if only you had thicker and longer hair" which would completely negate their previous compliments.

This insecurity became worse in teenage. When I was in college the trend of hair treatment was new. Hair straightening, perming, colouring, streaks, crimping had become the fashion trend. I would see each girl doing some or the other type of hair treatment. But I stayed away from all that, because I was scared. My fear was that what if I do aone hair treatment and lose the hair volume even further. I was frightened to do the hair treatments for the sake of the thinning my hair further. I was not ready to lose my hair even before turning 20. When someone in college would ask me if I was planning for any hair treatment, I would say that I had preferred to keep my hair how they were naturally. I was not ready to be honest with anybody towards my insecurity.

Then came 20s and 30s. By my 20s I had accepted the reality. I had accepted that despite of what I did my hair is not going to change the texture or volume. I had accepted that genetically I am not blessed to have voluminous hair. I had accepted that whatever I do my hair would remain thin. Finally I decided to embrace my insecurity.

In 30 I found the new confidence to flaunt my imperfection. I was no longer insecure of my thin hair. I was fine with having short and thin hair. I was not afraid or insecure about anybody asking me why I had thin hair or why I always keep my hair short. I had accepted my genetics. I knew I was heading towards the hormonal whirlwind and I was prepared to face it.

Now I am inching closer towards my 40s. Hair thinning and hairfall have become a part of life because of the hormonal changes. But I am no longer insecure. I have decided to embrace the reality and move on with it.