Have you gained weight?

Based on true events.

I was at a party. I was with a very close friend of mine Sudha who was telling me about her health struggles. She had been diagnosed with hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid function) a couple of years ago and she had been struggling a lot to manage her weight. The diet and exercise were not helping her at all. With medications as well her T3, T4, and TSH levels were nowhere close to normal. The doctors have told her that she should not conceive till the thyroid function has normalised. She was worried and was on the verge to breaking down. This is when we were interrupted by another friend who asked Sudha, "hey have you gained weight?" Sudha did not answer but she was barely able to control her tears.

I am sure that you must have experienced similar exchange in your life. It is very sad and disheartening when people question about the weight gain or weight loss. I have been on both side of spectrum so I know very well that questions related to weight hurt a lot.

People who are overweight (or chonky to say politely) are very well aware that they have gained weight. Most people are trying their best to lose the weight. They definitely do go on diets to lose weight. They exercise to lose weight. Very few people that I know were obese and were not doing anything to shed those extra pounds. Yet for everyone the struggle is different.

A lot of people do not understand that losing weight is not easy if it is because of underlying conditions. If the weight gain is because of hormonal imbalance then the weight reduction is very difficult. The weight cannot reduce until and unless the hormones are balanced and stay within the limit. And of course when hormones are disrupted then bringing them back to normal is a herculean task. When hormone disruption takes place, then it takes years to normalise the levels of those hormones. In some cases they do not normalise after the treatment too. Hence in these cases the weight reduction is not easy and the diet or exercise may not help. In certain other health issues the weight gain is because of underline metabolic disorders. In these cases as well diet and exercise are useless because the underlying cause for weight gain is something different.

People who are obsessed with someone else's weight generally are not aware of these medical complications. Because if they were aware of these medical complications they would not have asked such denigrating questions about the persons weight, would not have handed over dietitian's numbers, or would not have suggested diet plans as if they were the experts. It is really unfortunate to see in today's world that despite having availability to information everywhere, people do not use it and do not take the health issues with appropriate sensitivity. But they are always ahead to ask the question "have you gained weight?"

To my readers I have a humble request: if you see an obese person anywhere, do not make fun of them. Do not ask them if they have gained weight. Do not ask them if they are dieting or have an exercise plan. You do not know their struggles. Just leave them alone.