Marriage

I had worked in the corporate for over 17 years. During my career I had been to several offices for interviews. Looking back I feel that I had been asked multiple inappropriate questions during the interview. These questions were not required yet they were still asked to me. At that time, I could not understand that the questions were unnecessary, yet looking back I now realise that I should have fought back.

One of such questions that boils my blood: Are you planning to get married?

It was my first interview. In the technical round I had answered all questions correctly. I felt that my performance in the interview was satisfactory and I had not fumbled at any question that was asked to me. I had answered all the questions with utmost honesty and to the best of my knowledge. The interviewer discussed my availability along with my expectations towards the pay. After these discussions had been concluded the interviewer and the HR representative looked at each other to ask me the last question, "are you planning to get married soon?"

This question took me aback. I was not expecting this question to be asked during the interview. I was a 22 year old girl wanting to work with a reputed organisation. I could not understand why this question was needed to be asked.

Apparently the confusion was visible clearly on my face. The interviewer decided to add more details so that the question may look appropriate (it did not), "we have a very good reason to ask you this question. We have seen a lot of instances where girls join our team. We put a lot of time and efforts in training them. Once they are trained and they start working suddenly they come and announce that they need to leave the job because they had been getting married. We do not want that to happen with the candidates we are pointing now. That is why we are asking you this question".

I thought about the justification that was provided to me. It did sound fair but I did not like the idea of asking a personal question to a complete stranger. Yet I was required to answer this question. I denied the possibility so that we can move on further. But the question did not stop here. The HR representative asked me, "let us consider a scenario. If you receive a good marriage proposal then would you not consider it because you are working? What would you do in that case?"

I was infuriated by this question. But I had to keep calm and answer it so that the process can move ahead. I smiled and responded, "I belong to a progressive family. In my family most of women work. Working culture is not new to my family. If a marriage proposal comes for me I am sure that my family would support my career instead of marriage. Any proposal that requires me to leave my job and ambitions is not a good marriage proposal. If such marriage proposal comes I will be the first one to object to it".

They were impressed with my response. I accepted the job. But looking back today, I feel the question was inappropriate and unnecessary. I felt that I was judged based on the preferences of my personal life.