My Brain Needs to Be Studied at This Point 😭�

I genuinely believe my brain waits until I’m finally comfortable to remind me of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done.I’ll be lying peacefully in bed, almost asleep, 
when suddenly my brain decides it’s the perfect time to replay a random conversation from four years ago. And obviously, it doesn’t replay the normal parts. It specifically selects the one sentence I could have phrased differently, the awkward laugh I made, or that one moment when I waved back at someone who wasn’t even waving at me.
And just like that, I’m wide awake.The worst part is that I can’t even defend myself because nobody else probably remembers the incident. The other person has moved on with their life, forgotten my existence, and possibly forgotten the entire day. Meanwhile, I’m conducting a full investigation into something that lasted approximately three seconds.
Sometimes I even start arguing with my past self. Like, why did you say that? What was the thought process? Was there genuinely no other response available to you at that moment? And why did you decide to remember it now, when I was literally about to sleep?Then there are the imaginary conversations. I’ll create an entire argument in my head, come up with the perfect comeback, win the argument, and feel satisfied about a situation that has never happened and probably never will. Occasionally, I even prepare responses to questions nobody has asked me. At this point, my brain has an entire alternate universe running in the background.And somehow, the more embarrassing the memory is, the clearer it becomes. I might forget what I ate yesterday, but I can remember the exact expression on 
someone’s face when I said something slightly awkward in 2022. Priorities, apparently.The funniest part is that when something genuinely important happens, my brain suddenly has absolutely nothing useful to contribute. Someone asks me a simple question, and I forget every language I know. Five hours later, while washing my face, I finally come up with a brilliant response that would have changed absolutely nothing.Honestly, if overthinking counted as a professional qualification, I’d have an impressive résumé by now. Experience? Years. Skills? Creating problems out of 
absolutely nothing. Special talent? Feeling embarrassed on behalf of a version of myself who no longer even exists.I’ve tried telling myself that nobody cares as much as I think they do, and logically, I know it’s true. Everyone is probably too busy remembering their own embarrassing moments to think about mine. Yet somehow, this information never reaches the department responsible for my midnight thoughts.
Anyway, if anyone knows how to convince their brain that 2 AM is not the appropriate time for a retrospective analysis of their entire existence, please share your wisdom. Until then, I’ll continue losing sleep over 
conversations that everyone else has probably forgotten. 😭😂