my own pace

I don't know when I started feeling like I was late in life.
Maybe it happened when people around me started getting jobs. Maybe it was when someone posted about getting selected foran exam, starting a new course, or moving to a new city. I would genuinely feel happy for them, but after closing my phone, I would quietly ask myself, “What am I doing?”
I had plans too. The problem was that my plans kept changing.
Some days I wanted to focus completely on my studies. Other days I thought maybe I should learn a skill. Sometimes I wanted agovernment job, sometimes a private job, and sometimes I just wanted to stop thinking about my future for one day.
The more I compared myself with others, the more confused I became.I started thinking that I had wasted too much time. I felt like I should have started earlier, worked harder, and figured everything out by now.
One afternoon, I was sitting with a friendwho had recently started working. We were talking about our lives when I told her, “Everyone is moving ahead. I feel like I'm still standing at the same place.”
She looked at me and said, “Maybe you're
not standing still. Maybe you're just not where you expected to be.”
That sentence stayed with me.
That night, I thought about all the things I had actually done. I had learned from mistakes. I had tried different things. I had continued studying even on days when I didn't feel motivated. I had changed my plans because some of them simply weren't right for me. Maybe that wasn't failure.
Maybe that was part of growing up.
I realized that I had been measuring my life using other people's timelines.Someone getting a job at twenty-one didn't mean I had failed because I was still preparing. Someone knowing exactly what they wanted didn't mean I was wrong for being unsure.So I stopped asking, “Why am I behind?”
I started asking, “What can I do today?”
The answer was usually simple.
Study for two hours. Finish one task. Learn something useful. Take a break without feeling guilty. Try again tomorrow.
My life didn't suddenly become perfect after that.
But it became quieter.I still see people achieving things before me. Sometimes I still compare myself.
The difference is that I don't let their progress decide how I feel about mine anymore.Maybe I am not late.
Maybe I am just taking my own route.