Punctuality and accountability

A couple of days ago I read a quote that I found very relatable: People have multiple devices to tell them the time, people are always running to reach somewhere, and still they never reach on time.

Let me tell you something from my own experience. My parents were raised to be punctual. Hence even I was raised to be a punctual person. Punctuality was considered to be a necessity in our household. I was told a simple rule: If you are expected to be somewhere on time then you should reach there at least 10 minutes before the time.

I diligently follow this rule. This is why I never was late to any place or event because of my negligence. The times when I was late to somewhere that was out of my control. Whenever I would be late, I would feel extremely guilty. I would feel guilty for wasting or disrespectimg someone else's time. Yet in modern times this trait of mine had caused nothing but agony to me.

Let me share and example of how frustrating waiting for a someone is. A couple of days ago one of my cousins (who lives nearby) had told us that she would visit us in the evening. She had insisted that she would not stay till dinner and it would be a quick visit. She said that she will come by 6:00 pm. We had been waiting for her. It was 6:15 yet she had not arrived. We had given her a benefit of doubt for traffic or inability to find the transport. She had not turned up by 6:45, that is when I decided to give her a call. Surprisingly she did not pick up the call. We waited for another 15 minutes. At 7 o'clock I called her again. No response this time as well. 15 minutes later I called again and met with the same fate. I thought maybe it would be better to send her a text message. So I sent her a text message but it was still unread till 7:30. That is when I decided to give the call to her teenage son. I asked him when his mother had left home. He told me that his mother left home somewhere after 7 o'clock. When we were speaking it was almost 7:45. My cousin was at the door step at 8 o'clock. Not only that she was 2 hours late but she had not even been answering the phone calls or texts for a very long time. She had no curtesy to inform us that she was running late. Everyone including her son worried whether she was okay. This is how it was an agonising experience.

What I do not like nowadays is not only the punctuality but a complete lack of accountability. When you give someone the time then it is your own responsibility to reach on that time. If you are running late it is your inherent responsibility to inform the other person that you are late so that they are prepared. I used to think that these are basic rules however nowadays these are really rare to see. If these are pointed out to the person who had actually not being punctual and accountable then they get offended. They feel that the other person is singling them out and making them feel bad. But isn't that your own fault? Yet the person who had not been punctual and accountable always feels that they are the victims in the situation.

I wish this was an isolated incident, but this is something I have seen in recent times with people. Being "fashionably late" had never been cool and it will never be cool. Not being a countable for your own actions definitely does not make you look busy but lousy. Your expensive watches, smartphones, and smart watches are absolutely useless if you still can't be anywhere on time. They can show you the time but cannot teach you the value of time.

Unfortunately we are in the times where we have to teach the basic etiquettes and courtesys to people: Be on time. If you are running late then inform the host. You have no right to waste and disrespect others time.