Silence

I don't know if I can do it but i should ig,
I don't know if I want to do it or not!
Why the scar is still fresh even if the wound happened long ago,
Maybe i should shut just like all this time,
Maybe I should speak atleast this time,
I've believed that there someone who's looking at our sins but why I am suffering when the sinner is roaming around happily,
If i say the truth will it change anything?
Or they just shut like i did with myself all along,
Will i be disappointed if they shut me up or will i be satisfaction just because I've expected that?
What if they blame just like everyone else?
Can I blame them for that?, because
I've been doing that to myself from the start.
Maybe i should just stay silent like always, so that everything goes as it is.
Everyone is fine but what about me?
Should i bury it inside me? Can i ?
What about those scars? Can i wash them off?
What about that fear?
What about the nightmares?
What about the trauma?
Everything will go unnoticed... but I'm not here for validation either..... am I wrong?!
Maybe or maybe not.
I just wanted them to know my pain!
I just want the world to know it so it won't happen with others...
But what about me?
What do i want?
Does anyone care?
Maybe not.
But i care.
I definitely do.

~lilly