Some Say love, it is a river

I still remember the day you told me you loved me; I was so happy, and so were you. We couldn't sleep that night, planning our whole future. We wanted a cosy little apartment with yellow wallpaper because you thought it could be a good colour for our 1 unborn child. We talked and laughed that night for hours until we saw the sun peeking over the horizon. We watched the sunrise together for the first time that day, and through the phone you whispered, "I love you." You left to catch some sleep.

I remember the day we graduated from university and started preparing for the real world, all the anxiety and stress we felt, how we wished our burden to be lifted from our shoulders, how guilty we felt to ask our parents for money, and all the tears we shed through the job hunting and even bigger tears and shouting because of one successful interview after countless attempts.

I remember your new, shiny shoes and your wrinkled, free suit on your first day on the job, all the things we had to do to calm you down, to reassure you that you'd be great at your job, and, of course, all the little "I love yous" in between it all. I remember you gradually relaxing and slowly but steadily breaking into your work: the first coffee run, the first scolding, the first all-nighters, and the first successful project among countless achievements.

I remember the first car, the look of pure joy on your face, and the way you said it was brought with me in mind. I remember the date after a long blank period due to both our jobs. I remember steaks and Korean noodles, and how the table next to us laughed at our incompatible food choices.And I remember the proposal with the silver ring we always talk about, followed by ugly tears of happiness and giddy calls to all our parents and friends at night.

I can almost remember the accident that happened soon after; I remember the panic, the fear, the tears, but even after a long moment of reminiscing, I cannot remember your tight grip to shield me before everything went black.
I remember the realisation, the screaming, the sedatives, and all the blood. I remember the accusations, the finger and all the curses. I remember the heart shattering, the suicide attempt and the recovery. I remember grieving, mourning and all the missing. I remember and memorise even a little scratch on the stone, but what I can't remember is the exact line your laugh line shows when you laugh a little too hard, your one crooked tooth you never bothered to fix, the way you make a face every time you have to answer your boss's phone call, or the way you used to say my name with the softest voice whenever I felt down.
But i promise to remember all the good and bad things about in my life with the promise you left me with on my finger, for better or worse, for richer or poorer , in sickness and in health, i promise to love and cherish all the memories of you for life.