The body

Recently I had been to a funeral. The departed was my friend, a young man in his early 40s. It was indeed very sad that he died at a young age. It was also very shocking because he died suddenly. As soon as, I received the news I along with my friends went to his funeral. He was our dear friend and we were all saddened by his sudden passing. Something that happened at the funeral made me think about what we say and why we say that.

When we reached his residence the arrangements towards the funeral were in progress. He was hospitalized so the formalities were still being completed. I heard one of his relatives speaking on the phone, "It will take 2 more hours. The body is not yet here. His uncle and cousin are at the hospital and they are yet to claim the body. I will give you the call once the body is here." This is a usual conversation in any home where someone has died. Every time I hear the term "the body" it makes me uncomfortable and sad.

When a person is alive they have a name. They are called by their name in formal settings. They are addressed as "Mr" or "Ms" in the professional settings. They are addressed as "Shriyut" or "Shrimati" in traditional settings. Maybe their close friends and relatives address them using their nicknames such as Raju, Sanju, Rani, Dolly, Pinky. When they are alive they have an identity. When they are alive people describe them as per the names or identities that best describe them. But when they are no longer alive, their identity get reduced to "the body". Nobody uses their name or nickname when they are not alive. Nobody uses their salutation when they have left this mortal realm. Nobody tries to identify them with their names, nicknames, or surnames but only calls them "the body". I wondered why do we say that?

Then I thought more about it. What if it is a method of coping up with the loss? Once the person has died we cannot stay emotionally involved with them. It is difficult but ultimately we need to emotionally detach from them. What if calling the dead person "the body" is a coping mechanism so that we can detach from them sooner? What if the erasure of their identity could only be done by using a generic term like "the body". If we continue to address them with their real name or identity we would still be emotionally attached to them. Perhaps this could be the reason for not calling their name once they are a dead.

What I heard At the funeral definitely made me emotional and made me think a lot. For me the departed had an identity. I knew him by his name and nickname. His relatives me have been even closer to him. Probably it was a good thing to refer to him as "the body". We may not have realised it, but probably that was the only mechanism by which saying goodbye became little easier.

Anyway I pray that the departed soul finds peace in the realm where he is right now. Om Shanti 🙏🏻