The day I accidentally said too much

I have always believed that if you think something embarrassing, you should keep it to yourself.
Apparently, my mouth never received that memo.
A few weeks ago, I was sitting with a group of friends after class. Nothing special was happening. We were tired, hungry and mostly complaining about how much work we had.
One of my friends was telling us about a person she liked. We were all listening very seriously, because obviously, someone's love life is more important than our own responsibilities.
She finally looked at me and asked, "Do you think I should tell him?"
I said, "No."
She looked surprised.
"Why?"
I shrugged and said, "Because if you tell someone you like them, they get the satisfaction of knowing they have power over you."
There was a short silence.
Then another friend said, "That's... oddly specific."
I laughed.
"Not really."
It was absolutely really.
The problem was that once I started talking, I couldn't stop.
I started explaining how I thought people should keep some feelings to themselves because once you say something out loud, everything changes. Before I knew it, I was giving a ten-minute speech about vulnerability, rejection, emotional attachment and the importance of maintaining one's dignity.
My friends were staring at me.
One of them finally interrupted.
"Are you okay?"
"Of course."
"You sound like you've been personally attacked by a man."
Everyone started laughing.
I laughed too.
But the truth was, they weren't completely wrong. I realised I had somehow turned a simple question about whether my friend should confess her crush into a completely unnecessary TED Talk about my own emotional philosophy. And I hadn't even noticed. That's the funny thing about feelings.
Sometimes they escape through completely unrelated conversations. You think you're giving someone advice, but you're actually talking about yourself. You think you're explaining something logically, but somewhere underneath it is a feeling you've never admitted.
You say, "People shouldn't get too attached," when what you really mean is, "I'm scared of getting hurt."
You say, "I don't care," when you very obviously
do.
You say, "Do whatever you want," while secretly hoping they'll choose what you want.
After everyone stopped laughing, my friend looked at me and said, "Okay, philosopher. But should I tell him or not?"
I paused.
Then I said, "Honestly? Yes."
She stared at me.
"After that entire speech?"
"Character development."
Everyone laughed again. She eventually told him. They're dating now. And I still haven't heard the end of my ten-minute lecture.
But I did learn something slightly embarrassing about myself that day. Sometimes I spend so much time trying to control what I say that I forget that feelings are going to find a way out anyway.
Maybe that's not always a bad thing.
Maybe occasionally saying too much is better than saying nothing at all.
Although, for the record, I would still like my friends to stop calling it "The TED Talk."