“The difference between being alone and feeling alone”

Laughing with my group of friends feels surreal. Joking and teasing each other feels different with them. I am surrounded by a lot of friends. Am I sure? There was a question asked by someone… someone far inside me. Now I don’t know whether the answer is that I am sure or if I doubt it.
I walk away from them slowly and enter my room. I feel alone. Even with a lot of people, I feel alone. There is this deep missing of something, a void space that is waiting to be filled.
But do you know? I prefer being alone sometimes. The calmness of loneliness. I start to think calmly when I am alone. It is a choice, being alone. But sometimes, even when we are surrounded by a lot of people, we feel alone.
Being alone sometimes is a choice. One we choosing for us. The peace come along with it do wonders sometimes and the same thing can kill us inch by inch. But the descision is engraved in us only to be killed or get the peace settle. Alone doesn't mean we don't have anyone or you are lonely. It is just a time we get a chance to process. An escape to calm. Not permenent consider it as a rebuilding energy. To live and let live.