Why we become different around different people

Think about yourself with your parents. Now think about yourself with your closest friends. Now imagine yourself at your job interview.

Same person. Completely different software.

With your friends you might be loud and ridiculous and capable of laughing at absolutely nothing.

With your parents you might become a human being who has apparantly naver made a bad decision. At work you carefully chosen your words. Around a person you admire you become quiter than usual.

So which verison is the real you?

probably all of them.

Humans naturally adjust their behaviour depending on the social situation. Psychologist describe this party through self presentation the way people consciously manage how others perceive them.

We do it because humans are social animals. We need acceptance and cooperation and respect and belonging.

Imagin elakimg into a job interview and speaking exactly the way you speak with your best friends. Technically you are being authentic. Practically you are not getting a job. Changing your behavyi not automatically fake. It can be social intelligence.

You speak differently to a child than to your manager. You behave differently at a funeral than at the birthday party. You have to careful around someone who is grieving and more playful than around someone who is celebrating.

That is not hypocrisy. It is understanding context.

But there is a darker side. Sometimes we fint simply adjust our behaviour. We completely manufacture ourselves. You laugh at jokes you hate. You agree with the opinions you fine beleive. Pretend to enjoy things because everyone enjoys it. Becomes overly confident around insecure people. Become submissive around powerful people. Actually wealthy around people youa re trying to impress.

Eventually you can become so focused on what others see that you don't know what you want.

Your LinkedIn personality is different than your Instagram personality. Your family performance is difference than your friend group personality.

Your professional personality is different from the version of you lying in your bed at 2 a.m questioning every decision you make.

The real question is

Are you adopting or are you disappearing?

Adaptation is healthy when you change your communication while keeping you values. Pretending to be intrested is something because it is polite is different than abondoning your principle to gain someone's approval. Being professional is different than becoming someone you hate. Being respectful is different than becoming submissive. Being flexible is different than having no personality.