You look beautiful

Have you ever said "you are beautiful", "you are handsome", "you look nice" etc to someone? Have you been at the receiving end of such compliments? Have you been at both end of spectrum? If the answer to any of these questions was "yes", this is for you.

I came across a personality development course. That course also gave pointers about how to give and receive compliments. One part of that course stayed with me. It mentioned that if we call someone beautiful, handsome, or nice, we are acknowledging the genetics. These compliments have nothing to do with that person. It is saying in other words "congratulations for being born with a likable face".

Instead we should compliment their contribution towards their appearance. Such compliments may include "I like your style" or "You know very well what would enhance your features". This way we appreciate their efforts into looking good. Such compliments feel genuine. Such compliments make connections. Imagine a good looking person receiving compliments such as "hello good looking" vs "your style is amazing". What do you think will stay with them? The one that is unique will be remembered. This is how connections are made - With slight mindfulness.

This concept did stick with me. I made a mission since that day to compliment in the right way. This was a learning journey. It makes us think and observe. Saying "you look nice" is easiest but forgettable. To make an impression that stays longer, we need to make efforts. We need to think. It is not easy but it is worth trying. When we make keen observations and reflect them in our compliments, then those compliments definitely stand out. They become memorable.

I tried this way of complimenting on people around me - friends, colleagues, family members, or even acquaintances. I complimented someone on their makeup skills; someone on their choice of outfit; someone at their masterful hairstyle; or someone's entire concept of putting the outfit together. All these compliments were well received. The recipient already knew they looked amazing but highlighting their effort was something that won the hearts.

This trick worked with one important ingredient: honesty. The honest and genuine compliments will make the difference. A little effort takes a long way. When complimenting select at least one honest aspect and speak about it. When I compliment, I speak honestly. I appreciate their hardwork and effort into looking presentable. The recipient like their efforts being noticed. It gives a sense of satisfaction thay hardwork has gone into fruition. It makes them feel better than the same old generic compliments (generic compliments are not bad. But think about making them better and unique). Complimenting is a way to stand out. Never miss such easy opportunity.

If you are reading this, I want you to remember: Next time you want to compliment someone, don't stop at "you look amazing". Maybe don't even say that. Say something different. Speak about their effort at looking good. Let the effort take the centerstage than the genetics.