I Keep Remembering the Things They Don’t Remember

Sometimes I randomly remember things my parents probably forgot years ago.

That one sentence they said without thinking.

That one comparison that made me feel like I was never enough.

That time I was crying and they called me dramatic.

That time I needed comfort but got a lecture instead.

They probably moved on from those moments.

I didn’t.

Somehow, those little moments became memories I replay whenever I start questioning my worth.

And the worst part?

I know they probably love me.

I know they’ve done things for me.

I know love can look different in every family.

But sometimes I still wonder…

Why does their love feel so difficult to feel?

Why do I remember the hurtful words louder than the good ones?

Maybe they never meant to hurt me this deeply.

Maybe I just needed something they didn’t know how to give.

A little patience.

A little reassurance.

A hug instead of a lecture.

Someone saying, “I understand you,” instead of “You’re overreacting.”

I don’t want perfect parents.

I just want to feel safe enough to be myself around them.

And maybe that’s the part that hurts the most—

I’m still hoping for the kind of love I’ve been quietly asking for without ever knowing how to say it.