Chapter 2: The Pressure to Have It Figured Out

After comparing myself to everyone else, I started feeling like I was supposed to have everything figured out too.
It felt like everyone had a plan.
People would ask, “What are you going to do next?” and somehow that simple question would make me panic.
Because what if I didn’t know?
What if I chose something and later realized it wasn’t for me?
What if I changed my mind?
What if the path I was following wasn’t actually the path I wanted?
I started thinking that being uncertain meant I wasn’t serious about my future.
There’s this strange pressure to make the “right” decision early. Choose the right course. Build the right career. Learn the right skills. Become successful as quickly as possible.
Nobody really talks about how confusing it can be to figure out what you actually want while everyone keeps asking you to decide.
Sometimes, I wish I could just pause everything without feeling guilty about it.
I’m realizing now that I don’t need to have a perfect five-year plan just because someone else does.
I can learn something and change my mind.
I can start over.
I can take longer.
I can figure things out one step at a time.
Maybe growing up isn’t about suddenly knowing exactly what you want.
Maybe it’s about slowly discovering what feels right for you—and having the courage to admit when something doesn’t.
So, yes, I’m still figuring things out.
But maybe that doesn’t mean I’m behind.

Maybe I’m just not finished becoming who I’m meant to be.