Forgiveness

Death may stall because of several reasons. A mother waiting to see her children one last time. A father fighting till the last breath to fulfill the last bit of his responsibility. A brother waiting for his sibling to reach their destination. Love shapes and stalls death sometimes. But can death stall itself to seek forgiveness?

My friend Sara had told me a story from her own past. Sara was born and raised in a joint family. Her grandparents had a major role in her childhood. She used to love her grandparents too. When Sara completed her education, Sara wanted to work. Her parents supported her decision, but her elderly grandmother did not agree. She insisted that it was the time for Sara to get married and focus on family instead of working. Sara was hurt by her grandmother's demeaning remarks (Sara never revealed but those remarks had been hurtful to her that she cried even when she was narrating the experience). She told her grandmother that she would never forgive her for all the mean things she had said because Sara did not share her dream of marriage, family, and children.

Sara moved to another city and started working. Sara was in regular touch with her parents, siblings, and cousins, but she had refused to stay in contact with her grandmother. Her parents, relatives, and cousins often told her to forgive her grandmother and move on. But Sara was emotionally scarred by the remarks that she found it difficult to forgive.

Several years went by. Sara stayed completely no contact with her grandmother. One day she received a phone call from her dad, "Sara, grandmother is unwell. She has been hospitalized. Doctors are saying that she has just a few hours. Please come here and meet her".
Though Sara was hurt, she still had pleasant memories with her grandmother, especially from her childhood. But Sara was not ready to meet her, "I will not come dad. I am busy. I cannot drop everything to meet a woman who had hurt me so much".
Her dad pleaded, "Sara it was a long time ago. Granny is from a different era and she did not understand your dreams. She regretted saying all that to you. Please let go. Come and visit her once. Please come for me and your mom".
Sara decided to go back to her hometown not for her grandmother but for respecting her parent's wishes. She reached the hospital. When she saw her grandmother's condition she had tears in her eyes. She looked frail and was not responding.
Her dad took her aside, "granny has not eaten for last 5 days. Her organs are shutting down. Doctors have given up the hope. We have called all relatives to say goodbyes. But she is still holding back as if she is stalling her death". He paused and said, "I think she is seeking forgiveness from you. Just say that you forgive her, you do not have to mean it. Maybe she will depart after knowing that you are no longer upset".
Sara had not forgiven her grandmother, but she said, "I forgive you granny". Sara left from the hospital.

When she reached home, her uncle called to deliver the sad news, "Sara, granny is no more. Thank you for saying those kind words to her. Those were the last words she heard before leaving the world". Sara cried ugly tears for the woman who hurt her.

When Sara narrated this story, I realised that forgiveness or pretending to forgive is one thread that keeps life and death bound together.

I pray for the departed souls that they find peace and healing 🙏🏻