when loneliness feels different

There are moments when being alone feels peaceful and there are other moments when the same silence can feel heavy.
The difference come from what is happening inside us. We can enjoy spending time alone when we choose it, but only can appear when we want connection and cannot find it.

Loneliness is not about obvious. A person may continue with their normal routine, 10 College, go to work, talk to people, and even laugh with friends while still feeling lonely inside.
Sometimes they may not even understand why they feel that way. Nothing seems obviously wrong, but there is still a feeling that something is missing.

One reason has can be difficult is that it is not always about the number of people around us. We can have hundreds of contacts on our phone and still feel like there is nobody we can genuinely talk to. We can receive messages throughout the day and still wish that one particular person would ask how we are actually doing.

Social media can sometimes make this feeling stronger. We can constantly see other people’s picture, outing, celebration, friendship and conversations. It can look like everyone else is surrounded by people and enjoying life. When we Are already feeling disconnected seeing all of this can make us compare our lives with their.

A social media only shows a small part of someone’s life. We rarely see the moments when they are sitting alone, feeling confused or struggling with something. A person can call post pictures with ten friends and still feel lonely after putting their phone down.
Another thing about loneliness is that it can come and go. We might feel completely fine one week and then suddenly feel lonely the next. A change in routine, moving to a new place, losing touch with someone or simply having a different period can make us crave connection more than usual.

Sometimes loneliness also comes from not feeling understood.
We may have people around us but feel unable to share certain thoughts with them. We are worried they will judge us, misunderstandus or simply not take us seriously. In those situations being surrounded by people does not make us feel connected.

I think the first step is accepting the feeling instead of pretending it to not there.
Feeling lonely does not mean that something is wrong with us. It is a normal human experience. Everyone goes through period when they need more connection, even people who usually enjoy being alone.

When loneliness becomes noticeable reaching out can help. It does not have to be a dramatic conversation. We can message a friend, call someone, sit with family or simply ask someone to go for a walk. Sometime, even a short conversation can make the day different.

Maybe the most important thing is to listen to what our loneliness is trying to tell us.
Sometime it is asking us to reconnect with someone. Sometime it is asking us to build new relationships and sometime it is simply reminding us that even people who love their own company, still need other people too.