What Living In A Hostel Taught Me

LIVING ALONE HAS ITS OWN WAY AND METHODS SOME TEACHES US ALOT ABOUT OURSELVES AND ABOUT WORLD,YOU EXPLORE A LOT NEW THINGS AND LEARN.ITS NOT ONLY WHEN WE THINK ABOUT LIVING FREELY ITS ALSO MEANS LIVING YOUR LIFE BEST WAY WITH YOURSELF, MANY PEOPLE ALSO SUFFER FROM LONELINESS,YOU DONT REALLY NEED TO BE LONELY WHILE LIVING ALONE,LONELINESS COMES WHEN YOURE AWAY FROM THE REAL WORLD AND LACK OF SELF APPRICIATION,LACK OF GOALS,OR SOMETIMES LOSING INTEREST WITH TIME IN EVEYTHING,ITS A WEIRD FEELING TO NOT BE SEEN ,BUT WHAT IS BEING SEEN ACTUALLY MEANS? IS IT PEOPLE NOTICING YOUR EFFORTS? IS IT PEOPLE NOTICING YOU WORK? IS IT NEEDING A LITTLE REASSURANCE? WELL THESE SOMEHOW ALIGN THERE BUT NOT REALLY LONILESS , LONELINESS DOESNT ALWAYS COME FROM BEING ALONE,IT COMES FROM A GAP BETWEEN THE CONNECTION YOU NEED AND THE CONNECTION YOU FEEL YOU HAVE.
IT COULD BE :
LACK OF MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS
MAJOR LIFE CHANGES
SOCIAL ISOLATION
MENTAL HEALTH
WHILE BEING ALONE MEANS ENJOYING YOUR OWN COMPANY,SPENDING ALOT OF TIME WITH YOURSELF AND LEARNING SKILLS OR JUST DOING THINGS ON YOUR OWN.
Remember you’re not lonely , you can always resch out to your friends, family.
TIMES MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!!

Acceptance is on of those words that sound simple until life asks you to practice it. Its easy to accept the things that makes us happy, but its much harder to accept disappointment, change , mistakes or people who dont turn out the way we hoped they would. I used to think acceptance meant giving up, but over time I’ve realised that its actually opposite. Its about choosing peace instead of fighting battles that cant be won.

There have been moments in my life when i kept asking myself, Why did this happen? Or what if things have been different? I replayed conversations in my head, held onto old memories, and imagined different endings. The more I resisted reality, the heavier everything felt, it was exhausting trying to control things that were already out of my hands. Eventually, i understood that no amount of overthinking could change what had already happend.

Acceptance doesn’t mean pretending that pain doesn’t exist. It doesn’t means smiling when you’re hurting or acting like everything is okay. It simply means acknowledging your feelings without letting them control your entire life. You’re allowed to be sad,disappointed or angry. Those emotions are real,but after feeling them there comesa point where you have to decide whether you’ll stay stuck in that placeor slowly start moving forward.

One thing life keeps teaching us is that we cant control everything. People change, Plan fails, Friendships drift apart. Sometimes you lose opportunities that you were sure were meant for you, At first it feels impossible to understand why these things happen, You question yourself, blame yourself , or even blame life, but after a while, you get tired of carrying all that weight. That’s usually when acceptance quietly begins.

The strange thing about acceptance is that it doesnt arrive all at once, some days you feel completely fine and then something as simple as an old photo or a familiar song bring back the emotions you thought you had disappeared. I think its normal. Healing isnt a straight line, and accepting something doesnt mean you’ll never feel hurt again. It just means the pain slowly stops controlling every part of your life.

I think on of the hardest forms of acceptance is letting go of the life you imagined. Sometimes you hold onto dreams, people, or basic assurance you need from your partner.
Ive also learned that acceptance isnt only about accepting other peopel or difficult situations. Its also about accepting yourself. There are things about myself that i used to constantly criticize . I wanted to be more confident,less emotional and better at handling everything, But nobody is perfect.
We all have insecurities,make mistakes and learn at our own pace.

Accepting myself doesnt mean I’ve stopped trying to improve myself. It simply means ive stopped believing ive to be perfect to deserve happiness. Even now , im still learning what acceptance really looks like.
I dont think its something you master once and never struggle with that again ever.
And i think thats what acceptance is not forgetting what happened,but finally allowing yourself to move forward.



No filter. What has been frustrating you that you have not said out loud?

Learning to let go is something I never really understood until I had to do it myself. used to think letting go meant forgetting someone or suddenly stopping yourself from caring about something , I thought it was supposed to happen like a switch, one day you care and the next day you do not. But it does not really work that way , Sometimes you can let go of a person and still remember them. You can move on from a situation and still think about what could have been different I think letting go is more about accepting that something is no longer meant to stay in your life, even when a part of you still wants it to The hardest part is accepting that you cannot always get the ending you wanted. There are people we wish would stay, friendships we wish had lasted longer, places we wish we could return to and moments we wish we could experience one more time. We keep going back to these memories because they feel safer than accepting that they are over. I have done that too. I have reread old conversations, looked at old pictures and thought about how things used to be. Sometimes I would wonder what would have happened if I had said something differently or reacted differently. But after a point, thinking about the past does not change it. It only keeps you stuck in a version of your life that does not exist anymore. I think that is what makes letting go so painful. You are not only letting go of a person or a situation, you are also letting go of the future you imagined with it. 
You might have imagined where you would be, who you would become, or what your life would look like, and suddenly you have to imagine something completely different . It is scary because the unknown feels much harder than something familiar, even if that familiar thing was hurting you. Sometimes we hold onto things simply because we are afraid of having nothing to hold onto. But slowly I have started realizing that holding on is not always the same as loving. Sometimes holding on is just being afraid. Letting go does not mean that what happened was meaningless. It means you are choosing not to let something from your past control everything that comes after it , There are things I still miss, and I think that is okay. I do not want to pretend that I never cared just because I have moved forward. Some memories can remain beautiful without needing to become part of your present. Maybe that is the healthiest way to look at the past. You can appreciate what something gave you without needing it back. You can be grateful for a person and still understand that they are no longer meant to walk beside you. Learning to let go is probably something I will have to learn many times in life , Every time I think I have finally understood it, something new comes along that teaches me again. But maybe that is the point.  Life keeps changing, people change, and we change with them. We cannot carry everything with us forever.  Some things have to be left behind so that our hands are free to hold what comes next.




















What is sitting with you right now? Just start writing anywhere.

Starting over sounds simple when you say it out loud, but actually doing it can be one of the hardest things a person has to do. We often imagine starting over as something exciting, like moving to a new place, meeting new people or beginning a completely different life. But sometimes starting over does not look like that at all. Sometimes it is simply waking up one morning and deciding that you cannot keep living the same way anymore. It can mean rebuilding yourself quietly, without anyone else even knowing that you are trying. I think starting over usually happens after something has changed us. Maybe we lost someone, left a place, made a mistake, or simply realised that the life we were living was no longer making us happy. At first, the idea of beginning again can feel scary because we already know the old life, even if it was not perfect. The new one is unfamiliar, and there is no guarantee that things will work out. There were times when I wished I could go back to how things used to be because at least I knew what to expect. But going back is not always possible, and sometimes it is not even what we really want. We just miss the comfort of something familiar. Starting over means accepting that the old version of your life has ended and giving yourself permission to create something different. It 
does not mean you have to completely change who you are. You can carry your memories, lessons and even some of your old habits with you. The difference is that they no longer have to decide where you go next. I think one of the hardest parts of starting over is feeling like you are behind everyone else. You see people around you moving forward, achieving things and figuring out their lives, while you feel like you are beginning from the beginning. But there is no fixed age or timeline for having your life together. Everyone reaches different places at different times. Some people start over at twenty, some at thirty, and some much later. There is nothing embarrassing about having to begin again. In fact, sometimes it takes more courage to start again than it does to continue with something that is no longer right for you. Starting over can also be very lonely in the beginning. You may not know who you are becoming yet, and that can feel uncomfortable. You might miss the person 
you used to be because at least you understood her. But change takes time. You do not wake up one day with a completely new personality and a perfect plan. You make small choices every day, and slowly those choices become a new life. You find new routines, meet different people, discover things you enjoy and learn to trust yourself again. I have started to believe that starting over is not really about forgetting everything that happened before. It is about taking what you learned from it and using it to build something better. The past can remain a part of your story without controlling the next chapter. Maybe that is the most hopeful thing about life. No matter how badly one chapter ends, there is always a chance to write another one. It may not look anything like the chapter before it, and honestly, that might be a good thing. Sometimes the life we were afraid to start becomes the life we are most grateful we chose.











 





What do you most want to ask for right now — for yourself, or for someone you love?

There comes a point in life when you realize that choosing yourself is not selfish. For so long, we are taught to care about everyone around us, to keep people happy, to adjust, to forgive, and to be understanding, but somewhere in between all of that, we sometimes forget to ask ourselves what we actually want. We keep saying yes when we want to say no, stay quiet when something 
hurts us, and accept things just because we are scared of losing someone. Slowly, without even noticing, we start putting our own happiness at the bottom of the list. Choosing yourself begins when you finally decide that your feelings deserve to be heard too. It can be as simple as taking a break when you are exhausted, walking away from something that constantly disturbs your peace, or setting a boundary with someone you love. It does not mean you suddenly stop caring about other people. It simply means you understand that caring for others should not require you to completely forget yourself. Sometimes, choosing yourself can be difficult because people may not understand your decisions. They might call you selfish, distant, or changed, especially if they were comfortable with the version of you who always adjusted for them. But changing does not always mean becoming a worse person. Sometimes, it means finally becoming honest with yourself. There will also be moments when choosing yourself feels lonely. You might miss someone you had to walk away from or question whether you made the right decision. That is normal. Growth does not always feel peaceful in the beginning. Sometimes it feels like losing something before realizing what you have gained. The truth is, you cannot build a happy life while constantly ignoring your own needs. You deserve relationships where you can be yourself without constantly worrying about being too much or not enough. You deserve to say no without feeling guilty and to choose what makes you genuinely happy. Choosing yourself is not about putting yourself above everyone else. It is about remembering that you matter too. At the end of the day, you are the person who has to live with your choices, your memories, and your life. So, if choosing yourself gives you peace, protects your heart, or helps you become the person you want to be, then maybe it is not selfish at all. 
Maybe it is simply the kindest thing you can finally do for yourself.












Who is someone new in your life lately? What drew you to them?

We are often taught to be patient with everyone except ourselves. When someone else makes a mistake, we tell them that it is okay and that they have time to figure things out. But when it comes to our own lives, we
expect everything to happen quickly. We want to heal quickly, succeed quickly, understand everything quickly, and become the best version of ourselves without giving ourselves enough time to actually grow. When things do not happen as fast as we expected, we start feeling like we are falling behind. We compare ourselves with people around us and wonder why their lives seem to be moving faster than ours. But growth does not happen on the same timeline for everyone. Some changes take weeks, while others take years. There are things we cannot force, no matter how badly we want them. Healing, confidence, relationships, careers, and even discovering who we are can take time. Being patient with yourself means understanding that having a bad day does not erase all the progress you have already made. It means allowing yourself to make mistakes without constantly reminding
yourself of them. Sometimes, we become so focused on where we want to be that we forget to appreciate how far we have already come. The version of you from a few years ago probably had no idea how much you would experience, how many things you would survive, or how much you would learn. You may still have a long way to go, but that does not mean you have not made progress. There will be days when you feel motivated and days when you barely feel like doing anything. Both are part of being human. You do not have to be productive every second to have a meaningful life. Rest is not always laziness, and taking your time does not mean you are wasting it. Sometimes, slowing down is exactly what you need to understand yourself better. The pressure to have everything figured out can make life feel like a race, but there is no deadline for becoming yourself. You are allowed to take a different path, change your goals, start again, and take as many pauses as you need. Be patient with the person you are becoming. You are learning, growing, and figuring things out as you go. You do not need to have all the answers today. Some things are worth waiting for, and becoming comfortable with your own journey is one of them.









 

What is something about your family you are grateful for, even if it is complicated?

I don’t think anyone really notices the exact moment they grow up. There isn’t a morning where you suddenly wake up and feel like an adult. It happens slowly, through small things that you don’t even pay attention to at first. One day you’re complaining about homework and asking your parents for pocket money, and before you know it, you’re making your own decisions and worrying about things you  never even thought about before. Sometimes I miss being younger, when my biggest problem was deciding what to watch on TV or asking my mom if I could stay up a little longer. Back then, everything felt simple. I didn’t think about the future so much because I assumed there would always be plenty of time. Now I catch myself thinking about careers, relationships, money, responsibilities and  whether I’m actually doing enough with my life. It’s weird because I don’t feel completely grown up inside. There are still moments when I want someone else to make the decisions for me or tell me that everything is going to be okay. But at the same time, I know I’m not the same person I was a few years ago. I’ve become more careful about who I trust, I’ve learned that friendships can change, and I’ve realized that not every person who enters your life is supposed to stay forever. I’ve also started understanding my parents differently. Things that used to annoy me when I was younger now make much more sense. When my mom asks where I’m going or tells me to eat properly, I sometimes still get irritated, but somewhere in my mind I know it comes from love. Growing up has also taught me  that everyone is figuring things out as they go. Sometimes social media makes it look like everyone else has their life perfectly planned while you’re standing still, but that’s not really true. People just don’t post the confusing parts. I still have no idea what my life will look like five years from now, and honestly, that used to scare me. Now I’m trying to accept that I don’t need to know everything yet. Maybe growing up isn’t about having all the answers. Maybe it’s about becoming comfortable with not having them. I think I’m still somewhere in between the person I used to be and the person I’m going to become. I still make silly mistakes, overthink things, change my mind and sometimes have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. But I’m learning, and I guess that’s what matters. Looking back, I wish I had enjoyed my childhood a little  more instead of always waiting to grow up.