Bad things will happen

One saying that was often heard in my family was "विपरीत तेच होईल" (translation: there will only be the adverse outcome). My parents who were born after India's independence strongly belived in it. They did not hope for success despite giving their best efforts. In fact they never believed that they will ever succeed.

Maybe their time was different. Their hardships were different. Their experience made them believe it or maybe our grandparents engraved it on their minds. This phrase had taken the center stage in our household. They would say this every now and then, for each activity, for each task, for each exam, and for each competition. It was an indirect way of saying no matter what you do, you will fail. It felt less like a lesson and more like a curse. Hearing from my own parents was discouraging and disheartening. As if my own family did not believe in me to success. It created self doubt. This is when I felt that 'old wives saying' and 'ancestral wisdom' may not be all true.

Right from my childhood, I always found this phrase deeply problematic. I felt that it takes away hope. It questions our potential. It doubts if we are putting in enough efforts. It believes more in the failure than our capabilities, talents, and efforts. I never liked saying it. I never liked hearing it. Hence I never embraced this lesson. I knew this is not a lesson that I should pass to the next generation.

Now when I am a grown adult and I am passing my learning and wisdom to the next generation, I am careful with what I say. I never say anything that discouranges them from chasing their dreams. I ensure that everything I say has a positive impact. I try to motivate the next generation. I tell them, "think big, dream big, put your best efforts and hope for the best. At the same time prepare yourself if things go south".

This way I encourage them to look at the bigger picture and to think out of the box. I tell them that they are capable of achieving great things in their lives. Nothing would come automatically to them, but they will need to give their best efforts towards it. With all efforts, talents, and grit combined, success would come to them. But not always the outcome would be in their favor. Sometimes the success would not come easy. Sometimes despite the best efforts, we may not get to taste the success. That is why we need to be prepared for the failure as well. We need to have plan B as well.

This way I am keeping the hopes of the next generation high. I am not questioning their talents ot abilities, the way I was questioned. I am preparing them for the adverse outcome. I am not telling them that they are doomed to fail despite what they do. As opposed to what I was told, I am showing more of the positive side than the uncertain outcome. I believe this lesson is much better than what I was taught in my childhood.