Keep a stiff upper lip

As a young girl I was taught a lesson: keep a stiff upper lip. It had deeper meaning to it. It indicated that we should keep our personal struggles away from the public lives. We should never tell anybody that we are facing problems in our lives. Despite what the reality could be we should always appear highly presentable and content in the public. The bottom line of this lesson was to keep our mouth shut about our struggles. Struggles should be considered as secrets that are hidden away from anybody's attention.

This lesson appeared valuable to me in the childhood. I used to think that women who keep a stiff upper lip are the classiest and strongest woman. I used to think that they should be praised. I would highly respect those women who would hide their emotions from the entire of world. I would adore the women who would keep their problems at home and far away from in curious eyes. I would think that they were strong not because they were fighting alone but they were strong because they were not seeking anybody help.

As I grew up I realised how my thoughts were wrong and were mainly shaped because of the lesson I was taught. Yes those women wear strong to fight their battles on their own and keeping them away from spotlight. But there was nothing to be glorified about their struggle or their public appearances. How much they would try to hide their struggles, they would still become visible and would be openly discussed in various forums. If that wouldn't have happened I would have never realised their struggles. So keeping a stiff upper lip never really helped anybody. To me it felt more like a mask to be worn in the public. It appeared like a fake narrative being circulated in the society of how any person is perceived as a strong one.

As I faced this situation myself I felt that the expectation of not appearing vulnerable among the community is diabolical. If we are not supposed to share our struggle and seek assistant what is the purpose of building the community? If the community is only going to judge why should I be a part of such community? These questions started to bother me.

That is when I decided ones to open up and share my struggles with my circle of trust. When I did that I received tremendous support from the community. I felt that I was not the only one to face the struggle and all of them helped me to face the battle that I had been fighting all alone. Now I was not the only one but the entire community stood behind me. This is when I realised how much community can support.

This is when I realised the lesson of keeping a stiff upper lip was so incorrect. When we show our emotions and vulnerability we become likable, we appear genuine. Keeping a step upper lip is keeping us away from the community rather then becoming a part of them.

In my opinion if we share our problems with others they would help us rather than judging us. I do believe that keeping a stiff upper lip is no longer relevant and valid.