How to Look Busy While Doing Absolutely Nothing

An unofficial survival guide for professionals who have mastered the art of appearing productive.There are two kinds of employees in this world. 
The first category consists of people who genuinely work hard, complete their tasks on time and remain dedicated to their responsibilities. The second category consists of people like me, who believe that looking busy is sometimes a bigger achievement than actually being busy.Let me clarify that I am not against hard work. I simply believe in maintaining a healthy relationship with my energy levels.Over time, I have developed a few professional techniques that deserve recognition.
1. The Serious Computer FaceThe moment someone walks past your desk, immediately start looking at your screen with the seriousness of a scientist discovering a new planet. It doesn’t matter whether you’re reading an important report or looking at the weather forecast. Your facial expression must communicate that national security depends on your next click.
2. The Strategic Keyboard TypingNothing creates an illusion of productivity quite like aggressive typing. Open a blank document and start typing random sentences. 
Occasionally stop, stare at the screen and nod thoughtfully. Congratulations! You now look like someone preparing an international business proposal.
3. The Walking With Purpose TechniqueNever walk around the office without looking like you have somewhere extremely important to be. Carry a notebook, hold a pen and walk quickly. Nobody will question your destination because you look like the person who probably knows what is happening.Neither do you, but confidence is everything.
4. The Professional VocabularyReplace ordinary sentences with corporate expressions.Instead of saying, “I haven’t started yet,” say, “I’m currently exploring the initial possibilities.”
Instead of saying, “I forgot,” say, “That slipped through the communication cycle.”And instead of saying, “I have absolutely no idea,” confidently say, “Let me look into that.”Corporate vocabulary is basically adult magic.
5. The Meeting Survival StrategyIf you ever find yourself in a meeting where nobody understands what is happening, occasionally nod. Write something in your notebook. Use phrases like “That’s an interesting perspective” and “We should definitely revisit this.”You may have no idea what the discussion is about, but at least your participation looks convincing.
However, there is one problem with this entire strategy. Sometimes your manager actually assigns you work.Suddenly, the computer screen becomes terrifying, the keyboard feels unfamiliar, and your carefully maintained professional personality disappears.That’s when you realise that looking busy and being busy are two very different career paths.Anyway, I believe every office needs an award for employees who have mastered the art of appearing productive. My nomination is obviously myself.I would prepare a speech for the ceremony, but unfortunately, I’m currently extremely busy doing absolutely nothing.