The Stupid Things My Brain Does at 2 AM 😭😂

Sometimes I genuinely wonder whether my brain is working properly or whether it is just a free entertainment app with absolutely no quality control.
You know those random thoughts that make you question your entire existence for absolutely no reason? Yeah, I have those. And the worst part is that my brain always chooses the most peaceful moments to embarrass me.For example, whenever I pray to God, I sometimes accidentally say something in English. And immediately, my brain goes, “WAIT. HOW WILL GOD UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?” 😭🙏Then I start correcting myself in my head, as if God is sitting somewhere waiting for my Hinditranslation to arrive. Like, “Dear God, sorry for the language barrier. What I meant was…” GIRL, PLEASE. WHO AM I THINKING GOD IS? GOOGLE TRANSLATE? 😭😂
And it doesn’t stop there.Sometimes I’m lying in bed, perfectly comfortable, when suddenly I remember something embarrassing I did five years ago. 
My brain immediately plays it in 4K Ultra HD with surround sound. Apparently, my memories have better quality than my phone’s camera.Then I physically shake my head and whisper, “STOP.” As if the people in my memories can hear me. 😭Another thing I do is check whether I’m breathing manually. One second, I’m living peacefully. The next second, I’m suddenly responsible for every single breath I take. THANK YOU, BRAIN. I WAS BREATHING PERFECTLY FINE BEFORE YOU GOT INVOLVED.
And don’t even get me started on walking into a room and forgetting why I went there. I’ll stand in the middle of the room like an NPC waiting for the next instruction. Sometimes I walk back to the original spot, and suddenly the forgotten thought returns. My brain really has a location-based subscription plan.Then there’s the classic argument I have in the shower. I’ll imagine a completely fictional situation where someone insults me, and I’ll deliver the most powerful comeback in human history. I’m confident, articulate, and absolutely unstoppable.
Of course, in real life, someone says something mildly rude, and I respond, “Oh, okay.” 😭🙏But my personal favourite is when I send someone a message and immediately throw my phone away like I’ve just launched a nuclear missile. Why am I nervous? It’s literally a text saying, “Okay, no problem.”And somehow, the stupidest thoughts always arrive when I’m trying to sleep. My brain 
suddenly wants to discuss the meaning of life, the possibility of aliens, and whether fish know they’re wet.Honestly, I don’t need enemies. I have a brain that can turn a peaceful night into a full-length 
comedy show without charging me a single rupee.Anyway, if God really understands every language, I hope He also understands the absolute nonsense happening inside my head.
Because at this point, even I need subtitles. 😭😂