Is it that time again

I was a not feeling well that day. I was having a throbbing headache. I felt as if there are 1000 hammers being operated in my head. I was feeling as if my head is getting punched again and again by a professional boxer. It was really difficult to continue to work. I took a strong coffee but that did not help. I was thinking about taking a pain medication but I knew it was not going to help as well. I was just sitting at my desk, closing my eyes, and holding my head in hands. I really did not want to see anything or hear anything. I was in no mood to speak with anyone.

Suddenly a colleague comes to my desk to strike a conversation. Even looking at my condition he was asking me several questions. I politely told him that I am not feeling well. He asked me a question that made me angry. He asked me, "is it that time again?" I was unwell but I got so furious that I felt like punching him in the face. When someone says they are unwell the appropriate response is what happened, do you want anything, do you want to go home, or is there anything I can help you with. What he asked me was really not appropriate. It was not "that time" but I was really unwell. I lashed out at him. I called him out about his in appropriate question. I told him to be empathetic or just return to his own desk. He got upset and said that I was overreacting. This whole episode made me think about how often we are asked this question and how often it is assumed that it is "that time".

This was not the first instance when I was asked this question. I had been asked several times by various people. Sometimes by women and sometimes by men. The difference was that women asked me this question, it was out of concern and offering help. Whereas men asked this question purely as sarcasm. Every time when men asked me this question I either took it with a grain of salt or I called them out about how in appropriate it was. Whenever I took it with a grain of salt they appreciated it. But when I said it was unappropriate they said I was overreacting (of course how can they be wrong).

I am sure many women go through this situation. They are asked this question multiple times in their lives. When she is unwell, angry, upset, or crying - the first question asked is "is it that time". As if it is the only reason for our pain, discomfort, disappointment, sadness, or anger. As if the world around us is heaven. Almost nobody ever gives a second thought to consider if this is the right question to be asked or to do something to make the situation better. The media has made this question so popular that it gets thrown around without considering the possibility of it being inappropriate. We have seen this in movies and series how often this question gets asked and how often jokes are made around it. The real question is that is this a joke? Is biology a joke? Is discomfort a joke? None of these should be considered as a jokes.

Also when a woman is in pain it does not indicate only one thing. There could be numerous reasons for it. Hence be careful with the questions you ask. Next time if you see a woman indistress do not assume that it is "that time". Either be more empathetic or do not ask any question at all.

[Note: I am just venting out. It is not "that time"]