Today I received a text from my friend, Sonia. It read, "Indians worship goddess Laxmi, but US in the richest country. Indians worship goddess Saraswati, but Japan has the most intelligent people. Indians worship God Vishwakarma, but Germany has the best machines. Indians worship every god, but other countries excel at everything. The fact is India is the country that depends on gods to make them successful".
While I was reading, I received a text from her, "I agree to this". The text and her opinion enraged me. I thought to myself why Indians indulge so much in self depreciation? Why Indians need to believe that other countries are far better than ours and we are far inferior to them? Why Indians take pleasure in seeing the negative side of the story? Why do we Indians see our own progre…
There's a frustration that doesn't explode. It doesn't slam doors or shout. It just sits in my chest like a stone I swallowed years ago, and no matter how much I move around, it stays exactly where it is.
I've tried everything to get rid of it. I've told myself to calm down. I've slept on it, walked it off, scrolled past it, and even ignored it so hard I almost believed it was gone. Then a small thing happens, a delayed reply, a badly timed comment, a pen that stops working mid-sentence, and there it is again, right on schedule, as if it had only stepped out for a minute.
That's the part that wears me down. It's never really about the pen. The pen is just the last straw on a pile I can't even see anymore. Somewhere under all that is a long list of things that didn't go my way, effort that …
I was working. I was at my desk working on a complicated report that I had to deliver on the next day. I was engrossed in my work, when I was disturbed by a colleague, Medha, "what are you doing?"
"I have this report," I pointed at the screen having no time to look at her and explain further.
"So you are busy?" She asked.
"Was that not obvious?" I thought to myself but replied, "yeah".
"Okay, I wanted to speak with you about something. Nothing urgent. I will check with you later," she said and left.
That was very unlike her. She generally continues while I work. I could not understand why she behaved this way. But the work was not allowing me to think further. I decided to concentrate on my work.
Two days later when I had delivered the report, I decided to check with Medha. She asked me t…
A few days ago, I was having my evening coffee with my parents. While sipping up the coffee, I noticed my dad's mug. It had a prominent crack on on side. I told my dad that he should change the mug. Dad disagreed and told me that the mug was fine. I told him that I could see the mug has been damaged and it should be discarded. I also informed him that we have several tea mugs in our collection.
"No this mug is fine, those mugs are for guests," he replied.
His reply made my blood boil. Because there are over 20 good mugs in the kitchen but my parents refused to use those mugs because they are to be set aside for the guests.
To Indians this situation must feel relatable. We receive a lot of crockery as gifts. We also buy a lot of crockery from the shops. We love the crockery the moment we…
"You are staying home. You do not have to go every time your friends call you. You just run as soon as they call you. You need to learn that not all times you could go wherever you want," I was getting scolded because my neighbor had come to ask me to play. I was 4 years old. Like a good girl, I asked for permission instead of announcing. I was crying because I wanted to play. I had attended the school. I had studied. I had kept away my toys. I had done everything that I was asked to do. But still I was not allowed to play.
Every time there would be a new excuse to not allow me to play. My friends were my neighbors who were from good families. None of them were brats, but still my parents would not let me play with them. "Find better friends," they said but never told me where to find th…
I woke up in the morning. I sat on my bed having a cup of freshly brewed, strong, bitter coffee just the way I love it. I was taking each sip, enjoying the cool breeze with warm sunlight. My phone was next to me facing down, because I do not like being disturbed by my phone while having coffee.
My phone buzzed. I checked the notification. It was a text from an old colleague, Prachi. I decided to ignore it because why not? I continued sipping up my coffee.
At 9 o'clock I checked her text, "Hi. How are you?" I knew it was not a general enquiry. When she texted me for the first time in last 2 years meaning she needed something from me. I understood that everyone had given up on her and she was approaching me because I was the last one in the list. I replied, "hi. I am good. How are you?" F…
Why is sanitary pad such a taboo?
This happened a few years ago. I was working. A colleague approached me. She made small talk and then whispered to me, "do you have a that?" I could not understand what "that" meant. I asked her again. She signaled with a forming rectangular shape with her hands. I thought she was asking for printer papers. I gave her the papers, only to receive a disgusted look from her. Then she spoke, "it is that time of the month for me. I forgot at home, so I need 'that'. Do you have it?" This is when I decoded what she meant. She wanted a sanitary pad. I had one so I took it out of my bag and handed it to her.
She wided her eyes and gave me an envelope to keep the pad in it, "you are so direct. How could you take it out in front of others?" I followed her orders and…
I do not consider myself to be a fan of reality game shows. In fact I am proud that I had never watched a reality game show completely. However recently I decided to start watching a reality game show to understand why people love them so much and why do this shows have so much of popularity.
I started watching reality game show that began a couple of days ago. I started watching it from day one where celebrities entered of facility where they were divided into two different group. Here the concept is similar to the most shows where the participants are required to completely disconnect from the outside world.
I was on episode 3 that is when I started to realise that watching this show was one of the biggest mistakes. The participants had been fighting like cats and dogs. Whenever ther…
Funny how a doctor's diagnosis can change everyone's perspective. Before the diagnosis I was just me. The same friend that will pull up at anythime. Music and word lover. Book reader, gamer and youth advocate. Somehow, all of that fades away at the simple categorizing by someone deemed more knowledgeable than oneself.
Manic Depression. A diagnosis. A life sentence. Something that separates you from the very people who used to know you best. Isolation, loneliness and confusion are just some of the symptoms this illness brings alone for fun. The harshest symptom of them all is the way people who you've known all your life suddenly starts to behave, like you're actually ill. No longer a functioning person.
I'm still me. The same fun, loving, music-vibing, energy thriving, good he…
Ever since I was a child I was really interested in art and craft. Whenever I would get free time I would grab a paper and would draw something on it. It would be sea, beach, boat, food that I had eaten, a table on which food has been placed, a shoe, or anything that I would see in front of me. I did not require anything pretty. I would try to draw something and would paint it. Though it would not be a pretty painting it would still make me happy.
It was something my parents did not like. They believed that drawing is just an idle activity. According to them to progress in the life drawing or painting was absolutely unnecessary. My mother would often say, "you want to become a doctor, engineer, or a reputed professional. You do not require to draw or paint. Read books instead of doing t…
I especially do not like people who claim themselves to be fitness and nutrition experts. My main issue with them is that if they considered themselves as expert that was completely okay with me; but when they start advising other people on what they should eat while they are enjoying their food, it bothers me a lot. One of them was Sonia, my colleague.
Sonia used to think that she was a health and nutrition expert. Sonia was a fitness enthusiast and she definitely was in a good shape. Somehow I had become her primary target. Mind you I am neither overweight or obese - potentially I was a couple of kilograms lighter than the recommended weight for my height and age. Yet she felt the obligation to advise me on my eating habits.
Once I had sat at my desk and was having my breakfast. I had…
I am a pharmacist by qualification. The discrimination I have faced throughout my life for being a pharmacist is beyond description, but I will try to write it down today.
When I was in 12th I was determined to opt for medical or paramedical field. Medicine, Pharmacy, Biotech, Microbiology, Bio engineering, Occupational therapy, I found all fields to be equally inviting and was ready to accept any of these fields. While I was preparing for competitive exams (plural because for all these fields the entrance exams were different at that time), my dad told me that we will not be able to afford the admission for medicine, so that should be cross off. But I still had other fields open. When the results were out, I selected to go for Pharmacy.
For Pharmacy, I studied for 4 gruelling years. Hou…
When I was a child I would always look forward to birthdays. It did not have to be my own birthday. I was okay with anybody else's birthday as well, until and unless I was invited. My fascination to the birthday parties was the cake.
Growing up in 90s cake was definitely very special to me. Cake would only be brought on birthdays. One reason for that was that the cake shops were not as many as they are today. There were limited number of cake shops across the city. I remember that there was only one cake shop in my town despite it was at the centre of massive businesses. There was only one cake shop that would cater to our needs of birthday parties. So I would get to eat cake only on birthdays, not on any other occasions.
Another reason was that the financial conditions were not flouris…
It was 2019. Smartwatch and fitness bands had been recently introduced. Only a selected brands had been selling these products at a very high cost. One of my colleagues, Kavita had purchased the smartwatch from a reputed brand at the cost of rupees 40000. Kavita had always been the person who would buy the expensive stuff and was loyal to the luxury brands only. Kavita was not from a wealthy family but would never think a moment to splurge on luxury brands.
That day Kavita had worn her new smartwatch and was showing it off to everyone in the office. She came to my desk to show me her smartwatch. She showed me each and every function of her watch. I was impressed at the same time I would not have thought of spending such a huge amount of money on a wristwatch. Thinking about the money tha…
My cousin, Rita called me this morning. She did sound really excited. She asked me if I was going to my cousin's place tomorrow for Ganesh Chaturthi.
"It is little dicy for me. That time of the month. So I am not sure whether I will come," I said with a disappointment explaining my dilemma to her.
"Oh I am going to miss you. This patriarchy is horrible," she said.
I stopped. I waited for a few moment and I decided to ask her, "what does patriarchy need to do with this?" I knew that 'patriarchy' is the keyword that has been used everywhere on the social media to make their content sound trendy and cool. I knew it had nothing to do with patriarchy but decided to ask my cousin why she thought so.
" How can you be so naive? Patriachy is keeping you away. We are women living in men's world and…
No filter. What has been frustrating you that you…
No filter. What has been frustrating you that you have not said out loud?
How people are so job-oriented when there's so much more to life. It's understandable that one needs money to survive, but i think that humans are so much more than just working a corporate job with a mundane routine.
Why must we already start thinking about future prospects while we're still teenagers? This should be the time to explore and learn about ourselves, not dive head first into internships and career opportunities.
I want to explore the world. I am so much more than what I am right now. A job will not solve anything when I'm so eager and curious to grow.
I wish I could stop getting bothered by it all.
I wish it was as easy to be expressive as to breathe for me.
But it's as difficult as to idk, it's just feels difficult.
Everyone loves expressive people and I can't easily do that. I can maybe but it doesn't always come easy to me.
It's feels suffocating knowing you're not liked more because you're not expressive or because you're boring.
"Aap bolna chahti hain lekin bol nhi paati hain." is gonna stick with me for long.
No filter. What has been frustrating you that you have not said out loud?
It was the sacred month of Shravan. Though I am a non vegetarian I tried to avoid eating non vegetarian meals during this sacred month. On some specific days (Tithi) and before and after them I make sure that I do not consume meat. On some of the days (Tithi) I fast as well. While not many people are aware of this I also do not openly talk about it.
Once it was one of the days when I was fasting. That day I had consumed only fruits and milk. While working I was approached by a friend Sagar (pseudonym). He had brought biscuits and he offered those to me. I told him that I would not consume them because I am fasting.
"Whoa. Really?" He asked me appearing surprised.
" Yes really," I responded in a close alignment with his question. I was completely unaware that it was going to be a heated d…
I have realized something in life- when something so drastic or horrible happens to us , we think we might break - but still the level of emotions does not reach that peak, we somehow survive it .
One of my closest relative passed away and all through while he was struggling to survive i prayed, i cried and i begged to the universe for a miracle
But when nothing of that sorts happened, and he went away - i don't know , i sort of became numb and now i have no more tears to shed
And i thought this made me an unfeeling person but i guess it's because , i have finally realised that some things are never in our hands - we can cry , we can yell but at the end of the day we have no control over it whatsoever
And the best thing you can do is to learn how to live with it. Ik it makes us feel help…
I had gone to the local market to buy fresh fruits and vegetables. I had stopped near a farmer who was selling fresh fruits. I was picking up the apples that I wanted to buy. While I was carefully examining the apples I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. I thought it must be a friend or a relative who wanted to speak with me. I turned around to see a man. This man appeared to be someone from remote village. He had covered his head with a white cloth making a traditional pheta (traditional way of wrapping a cloth on head). He was wearing a kurta with dhoti in traditional way. This man appeared to be in his 50s. I had never saying this man in my life and I did not even know him. I could not understand why he tapped on my shoulder.
I looked at him angrily and asked him, "why did you touch me…
Being easily influenced means even when I hold a truth with 100% conviction—something I’ve personally experienced and read about—a single contradictory opinion can still spark random doubts.It’s frustrating when someone blabbers about something clearly wrong, yet it lingers in your head.I’m learning to treat my mind like the ground beneath my feet: it belongs to my own thoughts and beliefs, not the noisy opinions of others.
I was attending the wedding of one of my younger cousins. My cousin was approximately 7 year younger to me. All my cousins who wear from the same generation had been married. Now the younger cousins to were getting married. And then it was me who was unmarried at the age of 36. Whenever there would be any family gathering I had to keep my guard up so that I can fight for myself. It was one of such days.
I was joined by one of my cousins, Prarthana, who was elder to me by 7 years. She had been married for over 15 years and now had a quiet the typical mindset of the elderly relatives. She said next to me and said, "are you having fun?"
I thought it was a casual enquiry. I said, "yes. I wish other cousins had joined. It would have been a blast".
She smile almost smirked. Then she said, "o…
A couple days ago I was going through the old photographs. The photographs from the old times - captured on the camera roll and printed on glossy paper. I was going through each and every album from the storage. I was looking at every photograph and thinking about the time it was taken. I was reliving those memories. Some photographs brought the pleasant memories while other brought agony and pain.
One of the albums that I was looking at was from my fifth birthday. I saw a solo photo of myself. I was wearing a blue frock (blue was my favorite colour right from my childhood). I was standing next to the cake. I was smiling. I immediately remembered what I had been feeling when that photo was taken. I was happy not because it was my birthday; I was able to get cake or presents. Rather I was…
A couple of days ago I watched the advertisement featuring Kriti Sanon for the brand Giva. The ad showed that the woman used Giva's silver rakhi for Rakshabandhan. She also ties the rakhi to her pet dog. I watched it and I felt that the outfit in the ad was inappropriate. Somehow my instincts were telling me that this ad is going to create an uproar.
My instincts were right. The ad did create controversy. The ad was criticized for using inappropriate outfits and missing the festive symbolism. In my opinion the criticism was fair. I felt that the backlash was well deserved.
Then came the so called 'befitting' reply from the actresses herself who decided to stand up for herself. She called out the critics by saying who are they to tell a woman what to wear. I used to think that well educat…
It was the year 2022. The COVID-19 pandemic had come to an end. The masks were slipping. The life was coming back to normalcy. I had still been working from home.
One afternoon, dad rushed to my room. He looked worried. I got worried to by seeing him worried. He said, "Mrs Sawant just called. She said she needs your help and has asked you to visit her house".
I checked my calendar. I did not have any planned meetings. I decided to go to Mrs Sawant's home right away. I told my dad, "let me go first and see what has happened. If there is a health emergency I will call you. But don't come unless I call. If I call you, wear a mask and come," I instructed my dad like a school teacher. The danger of contracting an infection was still lingering around and I had to keep my family safe.
Arned w…
Two years ago, a new family moved into our society complex. Their home was on the same floor as ours. The new family, Joshi family, had one major setback though. Mr Joshi was working with merchant navy, who would be away for months. Mrs Joshi and their 2 year old daughter would stay back while Mr Joshi was on duty.
After moving into the neighborhood, it was the first time, Mr Joshi was leaving. Before leaving, he knocked on our door. I opened the door and saw my new neighbor in his officer's uniform. I was impressed.
"Ma'am I am leaving. Please assist my wife and daughter if they need anything," he requested politely.
"Sure," I replied. The trouble started the very next day.
I was leaving for the office. Mrs Joshi called me, "are you going out?"
"I am leaving for my office. My parents a…
I was having breakfast with my friend Sushma in the office cafeteria. We were joined by an uninvited colleague Rajesh. As soon as he decided to join us Sushma and I looked at each other knowing very well that this is not going to be a fun breakfast because everything we say, do, or eat will meet with an "expert" comment from Rajesh who had returned from the US after living their for 3 years.
I had apples and muskmelon in my tiffin for breakfast. Sushma had Upma in her tiffin. Rajesh joined us who was carrying cornflakes and milk for breakfast. He sat down and he did not waste a single second to criticize. He dived in straight with the breakfast.
"Hey buddy, are you on diet? Just eating fruits," Rajesh asked me.
"You may say that. I find it comfortable having fruits in the morning," I trie…
My mom came to my room. She had come with an agenda, "get in touch with Ruhi. She wants to go on shopping with you".
My energy and enthusiasm dropped by 40%. I hate shopping. Especially if I have to go to malls or local market to shop. I hate the insisting shopkeepers. I had no idea why my cousin Ruhi wanted to shop with me instead of my sister who extremely loves shopping.
I texted Ruhi, knowing very well that she hates speaking in the phone. "Hey, mum told me you want to go shopping. When and where?" It is good with Gen Z cousins that they do not want to receive full sentences. Just intent is sufficient for them.
Ruhi was online and was prompt to respond, "Saturday evening. Want to visit that closed market for drip".
I read "drip" and I read it twice. My heart was racing. Someone is un…
I was 4 years old. One day my mother told me that we were going out to get a nice plant of flowers. I was really happy because I always like plants, flowers, and everything that is close to nature. My mother and I went to a nearby nursery. My mother asked me to pick up the plant that I liked the most. I walked around to see which plants were available for sale. Finally I saw a plant of rose. It was bearing a small orange flower and a small bud. I immediately fell in love with that plant. I told my mother that this was the plant that we were taking home.
After leaving the nursery my mom gave me the pot and told me, "this is your plant now. You need to take care of it. I will help you whenever you do not know what to do but you will be responsible to take care of the plant". I was really h…
Some morning skills is different even when nothing special happens.
There is no exciting plan, no important event and nothing particularly interesting. Waiting for the day to begin. Still, there are mornings when I wake up and do not immediately feel like rushing into everything.
One morning like that started with me staying in bed for a few extra minutes. Usually, the moment I wake up i start thinking about everything that I need to do. Sometime I check my phone, look at messages, Think about college work on mentally make a list of things that need to be finished. But this time, I just stayed there for a while.
The room was quite and there was no real reason to get up immediately. I look at the ceiling for a few minutes and slowly become aware of how peaceful the morning actually was.
Ev…
