I often take decisions which are to please other people, even though that might not be something that I truly want.
Yesterday my house help who is a bit younger than me asked me to go to Mela with her.
I agreed, I really wanted to go, and there had been ages since I went to one of those.
So in the late evening she called and I told her okay I'd come, but when I got ready, my grandmother said what is the necessity to go at this late hour. Even my father told that it's not a very good place, who knows what kind of people will come, there's a slum near that.
Hearing all this, I also thought that maybe I should refrain, and I called her and told, I can't come.
But now I'm feeling so guilty, I had told her that I would come. Later she had to go with her mother, I thought her other friends will …
Last year I started my competitive preparation, initially I thought that if I study everything I will clear all the exams. I kept motivating for a year, I kept studying but I did not get any success. I did not have much knowledge in the beginning about how to study. I started studying on my own so that I could do something for my parents but some mistakes in planning took me one step back in my success. A year after that I was completely demotivated but I had a friend who told me that you have to start again and do it. But we should have knowledge about it before starting a business, however hard you try you will not be successful. In the end, I would like to say that if you want to do something, then only motivation is not enough, for success you must also have knowledge.
I love Fantasy world where you can think or imagine whatever you want or whatever you like and sometimes the things which never happened in real life . Love fictional characters or fictional world where world seems beautiful .Reality is too heavy and hard to handle sometimes to avoid hardship of reality we engage ourselves into fantasy or fictional world it helps us to forget the harsh reality for a small period of time . But if we imerge our self too much into fantasy world or make fake scenarios in our head then it ll become a serious mental problem. Though this fantasy world make us happy for sometime but if endulge too much into it then we start hating reality or accepting it . The things happen in Fantasy world won’t happen in real lives it makes us sad and disheartened. It’s import…
I fell sick towards the end of August, it was around 27th , and honestly I thought I would recover in a few days and get back to my routine. But this time recovery took much longer than I expected. I kept hearing people say the viral going around was strange - you would feel completely fine and energetic at one moment , and then suddenly feel drained again, even after taking medicines for four or five days. That was exactly what was happening with me.
Eventually I travelled back from my hometown to Delhi , thinking that maybe being back in my usual space would help me restart. Then I got my periods, and that meant another few days of rest. Somehow, all of this added up to almost two or three weeks where I barely studied for even an hour.
And the worst part wasn’t even the lost time.
It wa…
So yesterday,I was sitting at a park with a friend of mine , we started discussing about the price for the property of lands and plots in the city of Mumbai . To be fairly honest it’s seems a it height , spending and depending around the location and area , it just keeps rising and will continue for the next more decades . Talked about cost of opening a bar or liquor store , and realised that the Gov dosent allow to open new stores for alcohol licensing . The only way is now through passing on the license or taking it upon lease . So the cost of it is around 1 million USD . Then we kept on talking about various properties and taxes on them and stumbled upon the talk saying neither if us can see each other living in our current society anymore , the cost of everything has been skyrockete…
حاليا انتهيت من اداء الصلاه اشعر بالامتنان والشكر لرب العالمين ان منحني التوفيق للصلاة . طول سنوات حياتي كنت ملتزمه بالصلاه واصلي لكن قبل فتره معينه بديت افقد هذه النعمة والتوفيق، و تركت الصلاه واعرف هذا الشي خطأ . والحمدلله صار يومين رجعت للصلاه وان شاء الله يوفقني على عدم تركها .
واتمنى اني ابتعد عن الذنوب الي تقلل التوفيق الالهي
. حاليا اشعر بالرضا الصلاه تمنحني شعور جميل وهو الاتصال بخالق الكون بالإله العظيم القدير اشعر بشعور القوة ان رب العاليمن يعطيني القوة او هو الركن الشديد مهما كنت ضعيفة مهما كنت انسانه بسيطه ذات قدرات محدوده واحلام وامنيات محدوده من اصلي او ادعي واشوف قدرة رب العاليمن يصير عندي شعور جميل ان اطلب من هذا الإله كل مااريد وان احلم بما هو كبير
بسبب علمي انه الله قادر على ان يحقق امنيتي واحلامي وهذا يشعرني بالرضا وعدم القلق من المستقبل كلما عليه فعله هو…
There are some people in our lives whose love feels so ordinary while we are living in it, that we don’t realise how special it was until we grow older.For me, that person was my dadi.
For me, that person was my dadi.She had her own way of loving me. It wasn’t always through big words or dramatic gestures. Sometimes it was simply the way she would notice whether I had eaten. The way she would keep something aside for me because she knew I liked it. The way she would call my name from another room just to check where I was.
As a child, I didn’t think much about these things. I thought that was simply what grandmothers did.Now I realise it was her way of saying, “You matter to me.”
She knew my little habits, my moods, my likes and dislikes. Somehow, she could tell when something was wrong ev…
It was just a normal day after boards. Me and my friend Rupayan, we had a plan. We sneaked out saying we are going to play in the ground but ended up going to the mall instead. It was 30mins away, just a bus. Just two dudes going out with our parents being unaware of our whereabouts. So we reached at 11am, yeah it was early morning. We decided to roam arnd the place knowing very well the only thing we can afford were water bottles outside and the free AC environment in the blazing heat. We had invited some of our school friends aswell but unfortunately they didn't show up. That made us angry but its okay. After a good while we realised our mobile recharge were over, yeah both of our phones gave up on us and to make things worse there were no busses coming which could drop us back home. So …
There is something about October that I can never properly explain.
Nothing is necessarily wrong. Life is still moving, people are still laughing, birthdays are still being celebrated, plans are still being made , and yet somewhere between the last warm evenings and the first cold mornings, a strange emptiness begins to settle in
Maybe it is the weather. Maybe it is the shorter days, the colder air, or the way evenings suddenly feel quieter. Or maybe these months simply make us notice things we were too busy to notice before.
October, November, December… they have a strange way of bringing old feelings back
You remember people you haven't spoken to in years. You think about places you haven't visited in a long time. Songs you had completely forgotten suddenly mean something again. Even ord…
There is something about mountains that cannot be explained completely through words.You can photograph them, paint them, write poems about them, or stand quietly in front of
them for hours, and still feel that you have only understood a tiny part of their beauty.Perhaps it is because mountains do not try to impress you.
They simply exist.Tall, silent, patient and ancient.
Whenever I look at mountains, I feel as if time slows down for a while. The noise of the world becomes distant. The endless notifications, deadlines, expectations and unnecessary
thoughts somehow lose their importance. All that remains is the cold breeze, the sound of leaves moving, the clouds floating betweenpeaks and the enormous silence surrounding everything.And strangely, that silence never feels empty.It feels co…
Sometimes I randomly remember things my parents probably forgot years ago.
That one sentence they said without thinking.
That one comparison that made me feel like I was never enough.
That time I was crying and they called me dramatic.
That time I needed comfort but got a lecture instead.
They probably moved on from those moments.
I didn’t.
Somehow, those little moments became memories I replay whenever I start questioning my worth.
And the worst part?
I know they probably love me.
I know they’ve done things for me.
I know love can look different in every family.
But sometimes I still wonder…
Why does their love feel so difficult to feel?
Why do I remember the hurtful words louder than the good ones?
Maybe they never meant to hurt me this deeply.
Maybe I just needed something they didn’t…
حاليا اشعر بشعور جميل واشعر اني في حاله وعي مو حالة غفلة او وهم اني كلش احب من اتعلم شي جديد او اعرف معلومه جديدة او تفاصيل معينه اعتقد ان اي معلومه تفتح افاق جديدة ويصير عندي شعور جميل يفرز الدوبامين ويخليني استمر. اليوم يصادف استشهاد فاطمة الزهراء وسمعت محاضرة وحده وبودكاست عن قضيه الاعتداء الي صارت على فاطمة الزهراء وعرفت تفاصيل اكثر عن هذه الحادثه وعرفت تفاصيل اكثر عن فضل فاطمة الزهراء عن دورها وتاثيرها الفعال وحتى هذا الشي مو مجرد معرفه تفاصيل حدث صار بالسابق وانما من خلال استماع المحاضرة تم ذكر تفاصيل اخرى تأثر حتى على حياتنا حاليا لدرجه حسيت بشعور ان اني هسه رجعت للحقيقه رجعت للواقع ، الصراحه اعتبر نفسي كنت في غفلة او وهم تم ذكر بعض المعايير لتقييم الناس وشلون الناس قبل على مر الازمنه كيف يتعاملون وشنو معاييرهم لتقيم الناس ومقارنتها بالمعايير الحقيقة الي وضعها النا الاسلام بع…
I saw the Mona Lisa today, although technically I saw a picture on my phone while waiting for my tea to boil. She looked exactly as she always does calm, slightly amused and completely aware that millions have spent centuries trying to understand her expression. Somehow that felt funny too.
I opened articles afterwards because I suddenly wanted to know why this woman became so famous, Leonardo da Vinci painted her obviously, but that alone cannot explain everything Countless beautiful paintings hang quality in museuma
Yet people travel across countries to stand before this tiny portrait for a few seconds.
That thought led me down and internet rabbit hole. Where I found people arguing about whether the painting is genuinely extraordinary or simply famous because it is famous. Some visitors…
Today started normally, which should have warned me. I woke up late, stepped on my charger and blamed the floor for existing. Then I brushed my teeth while checking my phone and somehow dropped tooth paste on my shirt. Excellent I had been awake seven minutes and already needed customer support.
At breakfast, I confidently poured milk into my coffee before realizing the milk had expired yesterday, I started at the cup like it had personally betrayed me. Naturally, I sniffed it there times, because apparently I am now a professional dairy investigator. I made fresh coffee and pretended nothing happened.
On the bus , ibfound an empty seat and celebrated internally. Two stops later, someone sat beside me carrying a gigantic bag that occupied three seats, I moved closer to the window, folded m…
I think sarcasm is basically the brain's way of saying. " I would like to scream, but society has rules". It appears during traffic jams. Monday meetings, family WhatsApp arguments, and group projects where one person suddenly remembers the deadline. Instead of exploding. We say, " Wounderful exactly what I needed today."
Psychologically sarcasm can create distance. When something annoys oa, making a joke gives us a tiny shield between the feeling and situation. I might be genuinely irritated that my laptop crashes before submission, yet saying , " Amazing technology truly revolutionary ," makes the frustration easter to swallow . Basically, emotional buffering with attitude
It also becomes a social language. Friends develop sarcastic vocabulary where " wow, great job" can mean anything…
I picked up a fun book today, because I wanted something easy to read before sleeping instead, I ended up sitting on my bed for nearly an hour turning pages and saying, "wait seriously?." Every few minutes.Somehow, casual reading had become an unexpected investigation into existence itself today.
The first few facts were harmless. I learned something strànge about animals,then something about space, then another fact about everyday objects. Soon I was starting at my ceiling fan differently. Why is it shaped that way?. Who decided these designs?. Suddenly ordinary things around me looked surprisingly complicated today.
What fascinates me is how little I know about things I see every day. I used a keyboard without thinking about its tiny bumps. I drink coffee without wondering where the bean…
I strongly believe that the rain has a way to pull outt the deepest of our emotions, that we have had buried for a long time . It's been a few days since i lost someone precious to me and my method of coping was to distract myself , but today when it started raining - all that resolve vanished and the memories started coming back , i realised what i was trying to run away from . The weight on my chest was almsot too much but also i found some comfort in the rain - i felt like i was allowed to grive as long as it was raining. The rain brought me back to face reality, idk how long it will take me to move on from this but i know that i needed this rain today to take a step forward.
I am dealing ridiculously bored today. I openedInstagram closed it., opened You Tube, closed that too, and somehow ended upbstaring at the ceiling like it might suddenly provide entertainment. Even my usual playlists sound boring. Maybe I don't actually need another video or endless scrolling. Maybe I need to do something completely random. I could cook something, sketch badly, rearrange my room, or just go outside for a walk. Anything is better than refreshing the same appsbevery three minutes. So people please suggest me something
Today was exhausting and I would like to file a formal complaint against my owner. She woke me up by checking Instagram before even opening her eyes. Then comes 37 notification, three screenshots of absolutely nothing and a battery percentage crisis at 12%. She took me everywhere dropped me twice, ignored five important messages and used me as a flashlight to find me under her pillow. Atvmidnight , she finally plugged me in. I thought my suffering was over . Then she whispered "Just one more reel."
I learned today that Oxford University isvoldervthan the Aztec Empire, and my brain immediately refused to accept it. That one fact send me down a ridiculous historical rabbit holebi started reading about Oxford, then the Aztecs, then mediaeval Europe and somehow ended up leaving about ancient plumbing. What began as one random facts became an hour of jumping between centuries. History is dangerous when you are wondering how people lived without Wifi.
When the evening paints the sky in gold.
I find your hand and lose the cold.
The city fades, the stars appear
And every distant scound feels near.
It tomorrow takes us far away
I'll still remember Yesterday.
Your laughter lingers likeba tune,
A little place of borrowed moon.
If srorms arrive and skies turn gray.
I'll choose your heart and choose to stay.
Through every silence every scar.
I'll find you , wherever you are.
So let the seasons rise and fall
Let time rewrite the shapebof all
If love is home then let me be
Whatever you are wherever we.
I learned today that Africa is large enough to fit the United States, China, India and several Ruroppean countries inside it, honestly, my brain needed a moment. I opened a map to check then started comparing borders, sizes, time zones,deserts and oddly shaped countries. One fact somehow became a geography investigation. Forty minutes later?
iwas zooming around IGoogle Maps, wondering why school maps madevthe world look completely different from reality.
I learned today that a day on Venus is longer than its year, and naturally, I had questions. I started reading about Venus, then it's strange rotation, extreme temperatures, clouds, and atmosphere Somehow, I ended up comparing planetary days and years across the solar system. I only wanted one weird fact before bed . Forty minutes later I was lying under my blanket staring at the ceiling and wondering how many other completely ridiculous things are happening above us while we casually go about our day.
I learned today that 0.999... is actually equal to 1. And my first reaction was, "Absolutely not". Naturally, I had to investigate, I started reading about decimals, fractions, limits and why an infinite string of 9s can represent exactly the same number as 1. Then I tried proving it myself with a few different methods.nwhat started as one irritating littlebfact turned into an hour of mathematical condusion and fascination. Somehow maths hadbmanaged to make a number I used every day feels suspicious.
There are these moments in life where we are completely clueless and envision all impossible things ahead and expect only negative things happening and you don’t know what to do that sec!
Hey everyone! It’s me again with another journal of mine where I try to make you feel not everything is impossible that you make yourself feel it’s impossible
I have myself come across these situations in my life and what I have learnt in dealing with those is
“JUST BREATH”
it’s that simple, just breath until you feel that your able to think present not future not past
There is always this pattern that has followed for millions of time and that’s TIME
Time changes everything! People your with, behaviour, hobbies, personality, choices, places etc.
But always remember that, time can also make t…
We shifted our house in 2021, from Chotta Shimla to New Shimla. We had only one day to do it because the new tenants were coming the next day.
We booked a small pickup truck. My father, me, and the driver. Three people.It started raining at 10 am. Not heavy, but that Shimla wala continuous rain which makes everything slippery.
We had this old almirah. Very heavy, my grandfather's. Four people are needed to lift it. But we were only three. We tried to push it down the stairs. Halfway down, the driver slipped. The almirah hit the wall and one of its legs broke. Loud sound.My mother came out and shouted "aaram se karo, kya kar rahe ho."
We left it there on the stairs for 20 minutes, just standing in the rain, covered with a plastic sheet. Then we called our neighbour's son. He came, and fina…
I never thought life could become this much beautiful, or that I would learn so much from everything I’ve been through.
Today, I feel genuinely very grateful and happy for everything that came along my way. Every person, every situation, every experience, and even the things I never expected to teach me anything.
Each one of them shaped me in some way and helped me become the person I am today. I choose growth over complaining, learning over wasting time, and moving forward instead of wasting time.
I am thankful for every little thing that played a part in shaping me, even the things once didn’t understand.
I’m grateful for the journey, the lessons, and everything that made me who I am.
Few things didn’t happend the way I wanted, but they still gave me something I needed. A lesson, a litt…
They say, there is never too late , life always has a u turn. If you know that your decision is not about your happiness, there is better option to change it. Regret is always not a last choice for any mistake.
But, is a u turn always works in every situation? Perhaps no. Some mistakes are not to be ammended. They are like a lesson for anyone. Such types of mistakes are only happens to teach us a deep lesson about life's unexpected faces. Such situations are only meant to accept our mistakes and move on.
I also wanted take a u turn in my life, when I saw my bad decisions making my life unworthy. But in my case, it was not possible. I have to take responsibility for my decisions.
But, can I make it better? I think still my life is in my hands. Not completely, but slightly I can make it bet…
If you had to choose between your dream and your responsibilities, which one would you choose?
Sometimes life doesn’t ask us whether we are ready to give up on our dreams. It simply puts responsibility in front of us and asks us to handle them.
We start thinking “maybe I’ll chase it later”.
Later becomes next year. Next year becomes when things get better. And in long term dreams become a memory.
But maybe giving up is not always answer. Maybe sometimes we need to adapt, pause, adjust, change to keep our dream alive.
I believe responsibility matters but so does the person we want to become.
Why does everything feel slightly different at night?
I don’t know if it’s just me, but somehow a completely ordinary day can feel boring, and then the clock crosses 11 PM and suddenly I want to do everything. Clean my room. Rearrange my cupboard. Start a new series. Make a playlist. Learn something random. Plan my entire future. And obviously, think about things I didn’t even remember existed five minutes ago.
There’s something about nighttime that makes normal things feel interesting.
During the day, everyone is busy. There are messages, calls, work, studies, people asking questions, notifications going off every few minutes. Your mind is constantly moving from one thing to another
But at night, everything becomes quieter. Even your phone feels different when the whole house is asleep and you’re just sitting there scrolling.
And somehow, th…
